Spinning Wheels

Panraven Test

2008-04-17T21:44:00.000-07:00

El Fin

2007-03-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

No, no drama. Just the end. Blogger is a pain to post more than a couple photos to and get them to line up properly. So I've decided to close down this blog and just keep my Photoblog blog. I was duplicating myself between them a little anyway. But I wanted to do one last post. To say thank you to all of you who've read my blog and commented. And for your compliments. :) I appreciate them immensely.

I thought that a good way to end this blog would be to go back to the beginning. To the roots of my photography. Back when I was a wee lass. Ok, maybe not quite that wee. To when I was around 13 or 14. By then, I'd already had my first camera (a Kodak instamatic 110) a few years. In the beginning, I'd used it mostly to take pictures of families and friends. When I was 12, my parents seperated and my dad started taking us on road trips. The top 3 photos in this post are from one of those trips. He rented a motorhome and took my grandparents, my sister, and I through Ariizona and New Mexico for two weeks. To the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Tucson, Albuquerque, and Carlsbad Caverns. Anyway, I think it was these trips that started me on the path to photography as being more than snapshots. Oh sure, I still did plenty of those. But I also tried to capture the beauty of the places we saw. Which wasn't easy with that little 110, let me tell you.

These last two are of my dog Tiny. We got her when I was 7 years old and she was my dog for 19 years. I loved this little dog so much. She definitely helped me thru a lot of turbulent years. Always good for a smile or a laugh. She loved car rides and sunflower seeds and sitting in window sills. The top photo of her was with my 110. I was 13 and she was 6. Yes, that is a Hall & Oates album in the background. And a Trixie Belden book on my bed. She was pretty used to having her picture taken as you can see by her professional pose. :P The last photo I took when I was 17 with the "new" Canon AE-1P that my grandmother bought and I inherited. She was a scrappy little thing, eh?

So that's my blast to the past. 20+ years difference but I guess I haven't really changed much as far as subjects go. I still take photos of the people I love and the landscapes around me. :)

Like I said, I'll still be posting on Photoblog so if you are curious about what I'm up to, you can visit there. Photoblog allows anonymous comments now if you'd like to drop a line or two as well. But if not, thanks again for reading this one. :)

http://vollenda.photoblog.com

Spring Exploration

2007-03-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung. Last weekend, when it was hot and smoggy, I couldn't find anything outside that I wanted to photograph. I'd hit a block. But what a difference a week makes. This weekend, spring was sprouting all over and my camera and I went exploring just a few feet from where I live. And we found a treasure trove of opportunities.

The top photos are more of what I'm comfortable with - flowers in a controlled environment (background, lighting, wind, etc.) But there's something to be said about messy, spontaneous shots in nature. The kind that don't stand still. That you can't force to pose for you. That keep you on your toes, looking up, down, and all around. That force you to be quick but precise. A good stretch. Like Yoga for Photography. The photos below are just a few of the ones I took on Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised at how many photos I "found" and actually liked. Maybe I was just in a more open place to see them.

P.S. The hawk is part of a pair that lives by me and I often see them circling overhead when I'm out and about. This is the first time I had my camera with me. The dog is named Duke and I don't know him. He was out for a stroll with his owner. He was cute and seemed happy to be exploring! Like me. :)

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling

2007-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day. :) Today I'm Irish thru my nieces and nephew - Morgan, Madison, & Max Douglas. Hmmm...I guess it doesn't really work that way, does it? Well, anyway, their ancestry is 1/4 Irish, 1/4 German, and 1/2 Mexican. It's why Maddie is light with cute freckles, dark hair, and blue/grey eyes while Morgan has beautiful golden skin, lighter brown hair, and brown eyes. Although, we must also have blue/green eyes in our background somewhere since brown eyes is the dominant gene. Max is somewhere between the two of them.

Definitely, they are exposed to their Mexican heritage more than their others. It's what my sister knows, what I know, what my mom, dad, & grandfather know. Jack, their dad, wants to give them more exposure to the other. They get some of that from their grandma Judy who is an excellent cook and sometimes, on holidays, makes traditional Irish or German meals. While today may seem frivoulous what with the wearing-o-the-green, and pinching, and green beer (but not for them), it does give them a chance to celebrate that side of them. Although, I think the devilish glint in their eyes says it's about the pinching.

So today, I wanted to post photos of the M&Ms and some moments that made me laugh and made my eyes smile. :) You know, it's pretty easy to get a good photo of Morgan or Madison or Max when it's just one of them. It's slightly harder to get a good photo of the girls together because one may blink or look away or stick her tongue out. :P But throw Max into the mix with both of them and it's an adventure! It's not just three times as hard, it's more like 10 times as hard. But I keep trying. And at least we'll always have photos to look back and laugh at. :D

Grapes

2007-03-14T22:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some purple tulips I picked up this weekend. I love tulips, as you may know, and I couldn't resist them. They reminded me of grapes. I never used to be a purple person. My favorite color is green. Emerald green. There's something about a lush green that makes me feel calm and happy. But my niece Morgan's favorite color is purple. And she used to pair purple and green together (because she knew it was my favorite). And the color combination grew on me. I began to notice it more and more in nature. Now it's one of my favorite color combinations. :) I argued in favor of it a few weeks ago. How could Mother Nature be wrong?

The first three photos are in natural, outdoor light. The first one is in direct sunlight. The next two are in the shade with my apartment wall creating the blue background. More standard beauty shots. Beautiful, colorful flowers.

The last two photos were an experiment with natural light indoors and an ISO setting of 1600. It created noise and made them grainy. I kind of like the harshness of it. Like it's trying to be tough and gritty. A bad a$$ tulip.

Do You See Me?

2007-03-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Laurie commented on my blog last week with this comment:

"Funny how easy it is to identify a pic that was not taken by you."

It got me thinking. Do my photos have a stamp on them that says it is a "Lisa" photo? Do they have a quality to them that says I took them? I like to think that my landscapes are crisp and colorful. That my floral shots are lush and saturated. That my portrait are thoughtful and real. But what about the other stuff. The things that catch my eye that I don't usually shoot. Can you tell then? Is it the subject? Is it the style?

There are two photographers on photoblog who I think have a "stamp". I can instantly recognize a photo belongs to them. I love their work.

Whibley for his b&w portraits:
One of his portraits
My favorite photo of his
Whibley's photos have great lighting and great expression. His blacks are crisp and the photos have incredible detail. My favorite, "Wrecking Ball", I would hang on my wall in a heartbeat!

And LisetteT for her still lifes:
A "typical" LisetteT photo
One of my favorite LisetteT photos
LisetteT also has great lighting in her photos and wonderful composition. And a touch of whimsy which I really enjoy. Plus, I am learning a little bit of french from her posts and her comments on my blog! :) I have to admit that I've been using babel fish though. Cheating, I know!

Ok, yes, they both sign their photos. But even without their signatures, I would still recognize one of their photos. :) By the way, they are only two of the awesome photographers on Photoblog. I am really inspired by my friends there and what they post and their commitment to photography.

These photos I took at Victoria Gardens a few weeks ago. I thought now would be a good time to post them considering the price of gas these days. Although, since I ride my bike every where and don't own a car, it doesn't affect me! :P Anyway...do you see me in these photos?

Here Comes The Sun

2007-03-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

Little darlin' the smiles returning to their faces
Little darlin' it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Oh man, am I ever looking forward to the time change this weekend. Riding home in the sunshine is so much better than riding in the dark. And if I had a choice, I'd much rather ride in the dark in the morning than at night. Less traffic, quieter streets. Actually, I kind of like riding in the dark in the morning. But the commute home is filled with crazies, kamakaze lethal lefties, and tired, irritable drivers. I'd much rather have sunlight when dealing with them. And the added bonus will be that I'll make it home in time to catch some sunsets with my camera. :) Also, I'm solar powered. :P

So...more sunflower photos that I took this past weekend. The top photo is a macro of one of them. The patterns facinated me, all swirly and intricate. Then I had to pull back to get the whole flower. I converted it to b&w and then added the sepia tone to warm it up. For that one, I wanted to focus more on the shape of the flower.

The two bottom photos are similar yet different. The one above was taken late Saturday afternoon on my balcony in the shade. The light is even and even though it's in the shade it still feels light and airy. More open. Cool. The one on the left was taken early Sunday morning inside my apartment with the sunlight streaming thru my slider to highlight the flower. I chose a black background to make the flower pop. Since the lighting is low and from the side, it acted more like a spotlight, adding shadows and warming up the petals. It's more intimate, I think. It could just be my imagination. I have an active one. :) Overall, I think my tendancy is to go for the dramatic lighting. At least with flowers and landscapes. Some portraits. Drama is good. As long as it's in my photos and not in my life.

Mirrors

2007-03-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

I picked up some sunflowers this weekend. $4 for four of them. It was a bargain I couldn't pass up. I photographed them on Saturday afternoon with my 70-300 VR lens and then again on Sunday morning with my Macro and the light streaming thru the slider. Hours of entertainment for $4? Definitely money well spent. :)

I've always found sunflowers challenging to photograph because of the inherent contrast between the light petals and the dark center. I bracketed the hell out of these shots even with the D200 being digital. Dark vs. light. Which is most important? I guess it depends on the photo. I tried to balance the two so there was still detail in both.

These two sets are almost mirrors of each other. Almost. Because of course, one is in color and the other is in black and white. So, they aren't exactly mirror images of each other.

But really, can a mirror ever reflect the true version? Like ourselves...does it show us who we truly are? Don't we all see a slightly skewed version of what others see us for? We all look thru "mirrors" that are distorted by our thoughts and ideals and perceptions? Is one view better than the other? Or just different? As long as no one's looking at me reflected in a fun house mirror that makes my backside look big, I'll be okay with it. But if you want to use one that gives me really long legs, that would be better. :)

Max's Buzz Cut

2007-03-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

Where has my little Max gone? My sister emailed me a pic of him with his new haircut! All of his curls are gone and he doesn't look like a baby anymore. *sniff* There's just 8 weeks difference between these two shots and he's changed so much. Well, maybe not that much but it seems like he's gone from being a baby to a toddler in the blink of the eye. Which really sucks considering they live in AZ and I live in CA. He doesn't even like to talk on the phone yet! (He usually hangs up on me or puts me on hold.) What's an Tia to do? I think I'm going to visit at the end of the month so at least I'll get in a little M&M fix. :)

I really do have to talk to my sister about her choice of backgrounds though!

Not One Word

2007-03-02T21:40:00.000-08:00

You know what I need to learn? That sometimes, the thing you want to say, doesn't need to be said. Or shouldn't be said. Or isn't meant to be said out loud when someone else can hear you. Or even written, for that matter. Especially written.

Sometimes, it's better to just not say a word. Not one word...

Maddie (top) & Morgan (bottom) giving great examples of their ability to speak volumes without saying a word. :)

Time Machines

2007-02-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

I collect Time Machines. Okay, they're cameras. But they're like time machines. Cameras take photos and photos take you on a journey to the past in the blink of an eye! My sister was in town this weekend for a family party and we were looking at old photos and laughing. Mostly at our hair and clothes. But it brought back a lot of good memories. :)

Most of my older cameras are Kodak cameras. I really like the cameras from the art deco period. They have a beauty all their own. Don't get me wrong, I love my Nikon. But it doesn't have the intricate, folding parts that the older ones had. My oldest one is the top photo from around 1900 or so. You can see it's no bigger than the tinkerbell ornament. You know, they were sold for $1 when they first came out.

It really isn't about the "owning" of them. I like the idea of having a camera that has been places and taken photos of things I'll never know. What adventures have they been on? How many smiles did they generate? How many memories were saved because of them? I feel like they deserve a good retirement home after all their work.

They don't all work, but that's okay. I still like to fold and unfold them, look thru their viewfinders, click their buttons.

My Yashicamat 124G TLR (twin lens reflex) camera still works. It was made in the 60s & 70s. The top lid opens and you look down thru the viewfinder (which is reversed) to take the picture. Makes me look at things in a whole new way. It has a quirk in that it doesn't always advance the first frame until it's been exposed twice. But it still takes sharp, colorful photos. The bottom photo is a photo I took outside of Bryce Camera with it. You know, when my "new" 35mm didn't work because it was like 30 degrees outside and the battery went kaput, the Yashica performed like an old trooper.

Dream Big

2007-02-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm watching the Oscars right now. I love to watch the winners of all the categories, but especially the smaller ones - animated short, documentary, etc. It's a good reminder that dreams can come true. You have to dream big, you know. Actually, I think it's impossible to dream small. I think by it's very essence, a dream has to be big. And if dreaming big means you may fall down a time or two, then so be it. One of my favorite proverbs is "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

It's the fear of the fall that keeps us from trying new things. Maybe it's because you're afraid that one of those times, you won't be able to stand up again. But you do. You always do. It may take a while, it may not be easy, but it happens. In the back of my mind I know that. Which is why I stretch and try new things (ironman, bike commuting, photography techniques, not hiding how I feel).

None of it has been easy but I feel I'm better off for having tried. I did have to learn to stretch mysef and sometimes fly without a safety net. And I was/am very lucky that I have rock solid support from my family and my friends. I should also mention that when I really needed something, someone would show up with it. Seriously. Out of the blue. Like magic. I'm lucky that way. I don't know why. So I try. Besides, if I fail (which I have big time), I'm still further than I was when I started. And that can't be a bad thing.

So...I learned a new technique from a fellow photoblogger this week. It's called the Orton Effect. It's actually been around for a long time and you can do the effect with slide film but I'd never heard of it. It's easier to do digitally and I tried it on a few of my photos. It's supposed to infuse a dream like quality into the shot. Not unlike some of the photos I used to take with the soft focus filters but different somehow.

The books and the round rocks are from last weekend at the mall. The columns are from my AZ trip. And the jagged rocks are from The Getty a few years ago. The bottom photo is what the round rocks look like without the effect. I'm going a little overboard with it which is something I do with new things. I'll probably use it sparingly in the future. But for now it's fun to see how the photos turn out.

Beat of a Different Drummer

2007-02-22T21:42:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, I longed for musical talent. I was in the chorus in grade school but in the 5th grade, they very kindly told me that I wasn't quite what they were looking for. I was crushed.

You see, musical talent runs in my family. Various family members can play all sorts of instruments and sing beautifully. My cousin, Tim, is a tenor who can make you cry. I'm pretty sure my niece, Morgan, has the gift. What I did get is a love for music. Most kinds, really. Except maybe rap. And I can tolerate country music, if I must.

Even though I don't have the voice of an angel, I still sing. There are 3 times when I feel it's safe for me to sing: when I'm with my nieces and nephew, when I'm vacuuming, and when I'm on my bike. Often, I'll hear music coming from a car and start singing along with it. Sometimes, I'll sing favorite songs - Nina Simone, Sheryl Crow, The Cure's Love Cats. Yesterday, to my horror and for some unknown yet tortorous reason, I was humming the Chicken Dance as I rode to work. No, I wasn't drunk. It just popped into my head and I couldn't get it out!

There are a few pieces of music that I can feel. I don't just hear it with my ears. Like Gershwin's Summertime or Ravel's Bolero. If I'm having trouble sleeping, my go to music is Smetna's The Moldau. The two instruments I "feel" the most are the sax and the drum. It's the tension they create, I think. This past weekend, the TAIKOPROJECT was playing at the Lewis Family Playhouse (named for the family that I work for). You may have seen their work in a Mitsubishi commercial. Or you can check out this video. I didn't get a chance to see it but when I was at Victoria Gardens (an outdoor mall with a cultural center that holds the playhouse), there was a small festival with drum circles, origami tables, writing tables, food, and performances by these drummers. I had a great time listening to them and a great time trying to capture the performance with my camera. Not easy, let me tell you. Trying to anticpate what they would do, where they would be, capturing their expressions...fun, but challenging.

What was interesting was when I turned my camera to the crowd. They were held spellbound by the drums, even the youngest ones. I thought, how cool that would be to be able to share your music with someone and see their apprecition. I think that's what I'm trying to do with my photos. I'm just following a different drummer.

Weird Wired World

2007-02-20T21:25:00.000-08:00

The Blog World is a weird world. Don't you think? People from all over read your blog (or blogs) and comment. Sometimes, you comment on their blogs. Sometimes you start emailing them and they become your friends. Sometimes, they disappear and you wonder what happened to them. Are they okay? Did they find something else to occupy their time? Was it just too hard to find time to blog?

I've thought of stopping before. I have way too many blogs - a triathlon blog, this blog, and my photoblog blog. I can't keep up with all of them and the triathlon one has suffered the most. This one is getting sporadic but I haven't given up on it yet. Mostly because I like to ramble and Photoblog is more a visual place than a wordy place. Although I am wordy there because well, I don't know how to be otherwise.

One of things I like about the blog world is that, often, comments make me think about what I'm doing and why. Today was an interesting day comment-wise. On Photoblog, someone said "you're a harsh self critic" because of my post of these duck photos. I had said that I wasn't happy with them because the depth of field on both of them wasn't enough. And that top duck photo should have been sharper around the eye (what I think should be the focal point). The funny thing is that photography is the one area in my life where I first allowed myself to not be perfect. It was photography that taught me it was okay to make mistakes. Still, when I look at these photos, I see a missed opportunity. I don't think that's harsh, I think it's being honest with myself. I can't get better if I'm in denial.

And then Bolder asked me "are you a great photographer? or, are you just blessed with great content, gear, and light???" I told him both. I admit I think I'm good. If not, I wouldn't be posting my photos anywhere. Even these, which I think are not perfect, had potential to be good. Does that make me conceited? I have moments where I think I'm kidding myself. You never know. Your friends and family could be humoring you or not want to hurt your feelings. All I can do is try and keep trying when I make mistakes. The next time I take photos of ducks, I'll remember what I was trying to do this time and make the proper adjustments.

If you look at the bottom photo, you'll see one of my book shelves. About a 1/3 of the books shown are books on photography. I have another shelf with just as many, if not more. And a stack next to my bed. I know all the techniques and "rules" of photography. But does that make me great? I don't really know what "great" means. I read an article this weekend where they were talking about the difference between amateurs and pros. According to the article, the difference is that amateurs will take one pretty shot, but the pros will tell a story with their photos. Maybe that one shot is technically correct, but does it have that certain something, that je nais se quoi? I don't know if I buy that definition or that I necessarily want to be called "pro". Definitely Photographer. Maybe Artist. Genius would be nice. :P But I do know that I like to tell stories and if my photos tell a story, all the better. I'm sure you would rather look at a great photo than read these ramblings! But thanks for reading and for commenting. You do make think.

P.S. Really if you look at these photos, I guess the bottom one tells the greater story because it gives you a glimpse into my life - the photo books, Calvin&Hobbes books, photos of my sister and nieces, some of my favorite novels, Pooh & Tigger. Memories, reading, laughter, learning, love. Do you know me better now? Yes, I'm still a 10 year old girl, trapped in a 38 year old body. :P

Saturday In The Park

2007-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Yss, I'm guilty. I borrowed my mom's car on Saturdy to go shopping for her birthday present and my grandfather's. We celebrated their birthdays today (which are tomorrow and Tuesday). Just, every once in a while, a car comes in handy when the carrying of presents is in order. I dropped my mom off at work at 7:30 and then it was mine til the afternoon. So, guess what I did? I took my camera to Red Hill Park, a park I sometimes run at, which has a little pond with some interesting characters. And some nice ducks and turtles too. I've been to this park with my camera before but to take portraits of people, not animals. And until I got my new lens, they would have been too small to be of any interest. Unless I want to go swimming and legend says the turtles are vicious!

I love ducks, don't you? They are so quacky. I always laugh when I'm running and I see them feeding with their butts up in the air like some synchronized swim team gone awry. The way they glide thru the water and then become clowns on land. The ruckus they make when they are upset. These ducks were pretty good about posing for me til they realized I wasn't going to pay them with food. Then they pretty much ignored me. But that was okay because I wouldn't want the photos to seem too posed. :P Still, the light was awesome yesterday morning and it seemed to spotlight the ducks and reveal every detail of their feathers. I couldn't have asked for better light. As, I've said before, it's all about the light. The turtles were a little more shy but I did manage to capture a couple of them basking in the sun. And who can blame them...it was a gorgeous day in So Cal. Warm, sunny, a little breezy. The kind of day that makes you glad to be outdoors.

There were plenty of people out too, walking & jogging & sitting. I was watching others who came to the pond to watch the ducks. Older couples, families, young lovers, solitary souls. Just sitting and watch them swim and fight and eat. I think they must have felt like I do. How by living in the suburbs we are moving thru the world but not a part of nature. Really, the only wildlife we see as we move from our house to our car to work, etc is birds and yapping chihuahuas. Maybe a squirrel or a lizard. Even riding my bike in the shadow of the mountains, I feel disconnected to nature. I know that's why I like to run at the park. It's a little bit of green and a little bit of wild.

P.S. At least click on this image of the duck's backside to see the detail of his feathers. Mother Nature is truly amazing in the details. Just why do their tails flip like that?

Truth In Advertising

2007-02-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

I used to be anti-digital. I think my problem with digital photography was that it seemed to0 easy to manipulate, that it could lie. One of the reasons I like photography is that it shows truth. It shows what was there when you pressed the button. I remember being shocked about an article in one of the photo magazines. A wildlife photographer had added a chimpanzee to one of his photos in another magazine. He thought the original photo needed "something" and so he added the chimp. It didn't seem ethical. I would never do that. But guess what? I did. And I did it with a film camera. How shocking!

This photo I took for a photography class. The assigment was to take a roll of pictures, roll back the film, and then re-shoot the roll for a set of double exposures. We weren't supposed to keep track of what we shot the first time so the photos would be random. I cheated a little in that I shot mostly pattern or landscape shots the first round and then the second round had subjects - a flower, a duck, this peacock, etc. I hated that the professor could so easily dismiss my eye and I refused to give up all of it. It may have been random but it was going to have my stamp on it! By golly. :P Anyway, I was lucky that the peacock "fell" into this landscape and not the others. Wouldn't have worked in the other shots, I think. Still, the peacock wasn't there when I took the original photo. It was added to it. Not digitally either. Oooh, what a scandal.

If you look closely at the peacock, you'll see he's disappearing, fading like a dream as you wake. Or he's appearing, like a dream coming to life. Or maybe he's a ghost of a memory, there on the edges but not clear. Or could be you just see a peacock. It depends on how you look at it. That's really all that matters when it comes right down to it. That the viewer gets something out of your photo. Sometimes with photograhy, like life, you have to decide for yourself what's "truth". And truth isn't always what you see when you look thru the lens. I've slowly come to realize that.

It's Not Easy Being Cheesy

2007-02-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

But I'll try...my version of a hallmark card to you.

like a rose garden
hearts flourish with love and care
blooming wild in spring.

Have you been watering your garden?

Happy Valentine's Day :)

Sweet Glass

2007-02-10T21:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's post was a little over dramatic. Sigh. But I had to get it out and now that I have, I feel better. It really wasn't that bad. There is no blame, just a different path. Let's chalk it up to a cruel twist of fate - raging hormones right before Valentine's. It's just a day. I really need to get over it.

So, yesterday when I said I wanted to be spoiled, I didn't mean with gifts. No, I got that covered myself. Flowers would be nice, but more because of the sentiment and the fact that I would probably have fun taking photos of them. But no, I don't need presents from anyone. My family usually gives me money or gift cards for my birthday and Christmas because I never want anything. Well, I do. It's just that I end up buying it for myself. My mom is the only one who buys me stuff more because I think she's hoping I'll turn into a girl at some point. (She buys me purses and jewelry, none of which I use.)

I bought myself a gift this week and it arrived on Thursday. A new lens. A Nikkor 70-300mm VR 4.5/5.6 lens. I took it out for a spin today and loved it. It's sweet glass - smooth, quiet, & sharp. I'd been debating buying it for a month. I'd read about it before it came out and had my name put on a list to be notified when it was released for sale. I had the money. I don't buy anything with credit cards anymore. Debt issues. Anyway, it was actually money I was saving for IMAZ 08. I'd planned on going to Phoenix in April for IMAZ to volunteer and watch fellow Trifuelers and sign of for next year's. I was trying to figure out what I needed more. I don't like having a DNF for an Ironman race hanging over my head. And one of my goals is to complete one before I turn 40 next year.

But the lens I would be able to use now and have lots of fun with. Plus, it's a lens I really need in my arsenal. So I broke down this week and bought it. The first lens I've bought in more than 5 years. A treat. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about IMAZ yet. I'll have to see how much I owe Uncle Sam. I could give up the weekend at IMAZ and just sign up on-line. But boy would I love to use my new lens there. These photos I shot with my new lens today.

P.S. I deleted Friday's post this morning (Sunday) because it made me uncomfortable being out there. Posting it helped me feel better but I felt like I revealed too much. Thank you Laurie for your comment. :)

Christina

2007-02-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

When I was going thru the boxes of "rejected slides" I'd kept, I found this slide (on the right) of my Aunt Christina. I have no idea how or when I got it. Or how it got into that slide box. I only know that I'm glad I didn't throw it away by accident.

My Aunt Christina was my father's younger sister. She was 8 years younger than him and when she was around 9, she contracted polio. She lost the use of her legs and some of the use of her arms. But she NEVER let that hold her back and she never used it as an excuse. She was a counselor at the University of La Verne. She was an artist and a writer. I have two of her paintings and a pencil drawing she did of me on a little piece of notepaper. I also have some of her notebooks with her writings in them. And she was the catalyst to get ramps put into the sidewalk in the town I grew up in. She was born on Christmas and when I was growing up, I thought everyone had birthday cake on Christmas. :)

But the thing that I remember most about her is her "Aunt-ness". If you'll notice, in both of these photos, there is a child sitting on her lap or at her feet. In the top photo, I think that's my cousin, Michael (I'll have to ask). In the bottom photo, that's my cousin Tim. I don't know who took the top photo but I took the bottom one when I was around 14 with my little Kodak 110 camera. It was about a year or so before she passed away.

Anyway, all of us kids flocked to her because she was "the fun" aunt. It wasn't just that she played with us, it was that she never treated us like kids. We were people to her and she spent her time with us "being" with us. We read stories, went to the library, on picnics, flew kites at the park, did crafts together (like origami hats). When our parents were too strict, we could cry on her shoulder but she never undermined them. She just listened to us. I don't think any of us ever thought anything about her being in a wheelchair, except that she used to give us rides when we were tired or just for fun. It was part of who she was but not something you were really aware of.

Now that I think about it, I can see that my "Aunt-ness" comes from her. That I want to be the Aunt that really plays with her nieces and nephews. That wants to teach them about life and how weird and wonderous it is. I get that from her and I can't believe I never put it together before.

When she passed away, our family seemed to lose some of it's heart. Christina (we never her called her Aunt or Tia, she was just Christina) was the peace keeper. She was the one who brought us all together. With her smile, her laugh, her love. For a long time, I could still remember her voice. Now if I try, I can almost hear it, just on the edges of my memory. But it's not really there. I miss hearing her sing to the Sound of Music and hearing her laugh. I wish the kids could have known her.

Bring On The Flowers

2007-02-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and that got me thinking about Spring, my favorite time of year. And while I hate riding in the cold and the rain, I know that a good rainy season means that there will be flowers galore in the gardens in April & May... The regalness of roses. The sophistication of tulips. The sunshine of sunflowers and daisies. The wild abandon of a field of poppies. :) I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a flower thru my lens and marveled at nature's work. The intricasies, the uniqueness, the beauty. You look at them and you realize that there must be a higher source. Somthing or someone making sure there is something beautiful to brighten the world.

I used to use filters all the time: red, green, orange, polarizers, and soft focus. A lot of my older slides of flowers and gardens were shot with soft focus filters. Mostly because it made the results seem dreamy and glowy and, well, soft. Which is what a flower should be, right? These were both taken with soft filters. The first with a more intense effect, the second more subtle. You can do the same things now with Photoshop but I haven't felt the need to try it.

Anyway, with spring and flowers, comes choices. Do I go for that early morning run or ride? Or do I head for the gardens with my camera? Both have their joys. The last couple of years, tri won out. What will this season bring? Which one will win. Hopefully, either way, I will.

Rejects

2007-01-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

Bolder boldly asked to see the orignal photo that I converted to b&w for yesterday's post. Here they are, side by side. To me, it didn't feel like the rose had the same impact in color. The rose itself seemed to be fighting the green of the stems, etc. And it also felt a little blown out & raggedy. But converting to a black rose isolated it and made it pop out a little. It also gave it the texture I could see but didn't translate to film. And it masked the flaws and made it more the ideal I was looking for.

Maybe if I come back to it later, I'll see something different in the color photo. Speaking of which...I had a fun night last night. I went thru some of the boxes that had my old slide rejects in them. Even though I didn't like them at the time, I couldn't bear to get rid of them. Weird, eh? Maybe because a litte of me is in them. Some I could clearly see why I'd rejected. Others, I had to take a second look at and then still rejected them.

But there were a few that I really liked and spent some time wondering why I had dismissed them in the first place. Maybe they werent perfect flowers. Maybe they weren't what I was looking for at the time. I don't know. But I'm happy I found them again. Here are four of the "rejects".

Rebirth

2007-01-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

I picked up some miniature roses at the store on Saturday so I could play with the B&W studio. As you can see, I used a filter to change this rose to a black rose. It felt more velvety that way, more romantic. Now, some people say that black roses are menacing because they signal death or vengeance. That's definitely not romantic. But other people say that black roses signify the death of old habits and rebirth to something new and fresh. THAT is romantic. I don't mean romantic in the way of man/woman. More like an ideal than reality. I'm not doing a very good job of explaining it, am I?

How about this...I'm hoping this year will be a rebirth for me in a lot of areas. I'm hoping to find the Lisa who was the heroine of her own novel. The Lisa who was optimistic and open to love. The Lisa who was joyful and healthy and fast. Ok, maybe not fast but pretty darn close to it. My triathlon blog hasn't been getting a whole lot of posts for a long time because, well, I haven't been training much since August. Last year felt like I was plagued by injuries (some my own doing, some not) and it was so frustrating. It took all the fun out of training and that spilled over into my life.

I was also promoted last year to a new position, because as they put it, they needed someone who could make things happen. That should have been a good thing. And mostly it was. But change takes quite a while in our company and sometimes I felt like I was running into a brick wall and I let myself get stressed about it. AND...to top it off, someone (that I had finally put behind me or so I thought) came back into my life and brought back a lot of the bitterness I'd felt towards him. And because of him, men in general. I became jaded last year. I lost some of the innocence that I had. No, not that kind.

But you know what? I do still believe in magic. I believe in a benevolent universe that helps you work towards your dreams. I believe that if you have a dream, people and opportunities will cross your path and help you reach it. I truly do. I haven't completely given up on my dreams. In fact, I would say that some of my dreams are burning brighter now. I think...I hope...I know that I'm ready for a rebirth. It may just take a little bit of work. :)

On a side note. I didn't take a whole lot of photos of the roses because Spike kept trying to eat them and smell them. So I threw him out on my balcony and then ended up shooting more of him than of the roses. He's such a rotter. But he's cute.

Bree & Terry

2007-01-29T22:36:00.000-08:00

I received a Thank You note from Bree & Terry this weekend. I took photos of their wedding back in October. Their note said that they thought the photos were beautiful and that it meant the world to them that I'd captured their happiest moments. Taking photos of their wedding was my gift to them. When I was shooting it, I remembered why I don't do more weddings. It's a little stressful while it's happening. Even more so this time because it was a night wedding, outdoors at a "ranch" so there wasn't much light. And Terry is like family to me since his sister is my best friend, Mondi. But as always the stress fades and now all that is left is the fun and the joy that they are happy with them.

I also paid for prints of their favorite photos and I'm still working on the third part of their gift...a photo book of the wedding. It's harder than I thought it would be. I want it to be great since it will hold their memories of that special day forever. And I took so many photos that it's hard trying to fit them all in. Plus, I'm a perfectionist so it's slow going. I'm kind of relieved that I didn't have to charge them for any of it because there is no way I could have come up with an amount. I've put so many hours into this that I lost track of them! But I can't complain because I'm getting some great experience.

The rest of these photos were from the photo shoot last May for their engagment photos. They turned this b&w of the two of them into the stamp they use for all of their wedding correspondence - inviatations to the shower & wedding, and the thank you cards. It's funny to see my photo on them. Kind of a thrill.

Honestly, I have more fun doing a photo shoot like this then doing a wedding or a party. Maybe it's because it's less stressful, more relaxed. I don't know. It could be because I like the challenge of getting people to relax and be natural and have fun.

Terry was a little self concious at the beginning of the shoot, but he loosened up nicely. It helped, I think, that their dog, Tank, was there and helped break the ice. Sometimes, I have to be the goofball to get them to relax. Sometimes I just talk to them, ask them questions, tell really bad jokes. :P

I think also that even though I'm being paid to do a shoot like this, I still feel a lot of freedom to express myself. The only rule I have is that if the camera is out of the bag, any shot is open game! After a while, they get used to it.

Black & White Studio

2007-01-27T14:23:00.000-08:00

I am in love! Andy (Wrenching Winz) converted one of my tulip photos to B&W and sent me the link for the Plug-In he used: Power Retouche Black & White Studio. I finally got the chance to download it to my laptop today and oooh, I'm loving it.

One of things I missed about shooting with film was that because you could shoot with only one roll at a time, you had to make some choices about what you were trying to capture. Was I going to shoot b&w or color? Film or slide? I often chose b&w, which I love (as I'm sure you noticed from my blog). Anyway, even once I decided to shoot with B&W, I still had to decide what film to use-Kodak or Ilford. Delta or Tmax or T400CN or HP5. Each film had it's own characteristics. Mostly I shot with Ilford Delta or Kodak T400CN. Then once you had the film chosen, you had to decide on no filter, or red or green or orange filters. I carried them all with me when I shot and it was fun figuring out what to use depending on what I was trying to accomplish.

Shooting with digital, I felt like I lost that. Now, I would say that 99% of the time I shoot in color and then convert it to black & white. I was using Photoshop Elements to do that but it just didn't have the same feel to it.

When I opened up the B&W studio, I found all my old friends in it! All of them are there - the filters, the film. It was like coming home again. The top photo is the original photo I was playing with. It's of a Tinkerbell ornament that I have. The second photo was done with these options-green filter & Ilford Delta film. The 3rd photo was done with these options-red filter & Kodak Tmax film. The last photo was done with a magenta filter and Ilford HP5 film. I am so excited to have so much more control again. I have a feeling I'm going to be playing with my new toy the rest of the weekend. I think I need to go pick up some flowers! Woo! Um, thanks for the link, Andy. :) Bloggers rock.

To car or not to car

2007-01-22T14:52:00.000-08:00

That is the questions. It was a year ago this weekend that I was hit by a car while out for a Saturday morning ride. Not only did it piss me off because it messed with my Ironman training for Vineman, but it left a lingering fear in me about cars. My heart still skips a beat when I see a car about to make a left turn across my path. Despite that tiny little fear, I still love riding and would prefer to be on my bike than in a car. In fact, now I get a little car sick in a car unless the window is open a little. Sometimes I feel like sticking my head out the window like a dog!

It will be 3 years in May that I got rid of my car and started riding my bike to work and every I wanted to go. Riding has been good for my health, my mind, the environment, and of course, my bank account. When I was on vacation earlier this month, my dad let me borrow his little old Huffy 10 speed cruiser. And you know what? Even though it was old and slow, as soon as I was on it, I had a huge smile on my face and I felt free. I love it. But there is one area of my life that has suffered. Yep, my photography. I don't go exploring like I used. I haven't been visiting my favorite places like Joshua Tree and Crystal Cove. I haven't been to favorite botanical gardens. Not that I couldn't ride to some of those places. I just don't want to do it while I'm carrying my camera (see above mentioned car accident and there was that time I flipped my bike last May).

These photos are from a trip to the San Diego Wild Animal park a few years ago. I went there with a friend for my birthday to take the photo tour. They take you inside the park on a flat bed truck so you can get closer to the animals than the train that circles the park. It was a blast. I got to feed a giraffe and a rhinoceros for the first time ever. And got some fun photos as a bonus. My own little safari trip right here is So Cal. I used to do that kind of thing all the time. Most of it was spur of the moment. Like the time I woke up on New Years Day and decided to drive to one of the missions to take some photos (I have a mission to photograph all the California missions. Get it?). I got to ring the church bell that day which was very cool.

Sometimes I think about buying a car again because I miss doing that kind of thing. It's an internal struggle. Should I? Shouldn't I? I think if I really want to get my photography off the ground, I need a car to get to assignments. But the anti-car side of me rebels furiously at the thought. What to do? To car or not to car. That is definitely the question.

The Eyes Have It

2007-01-20T13:10:00.000-08:00

Andy, from Wrenching with Winz called me a snobby snob. Well...he actually said that nikon people were snobby snobs. What. Ever. I like what I like. And my nikkorn lens are SO sweet. As sweet to me as a high end bike or sports car would be to someone else. I will not apologize for it. And I won't give up my my nikkor lenses for anyone. Nope. Ain't gonna happen.

Here's the thing. There's always a thing. I told him that it's not the camera, it's the eye looking thru it. Great photographs aren't made because of the camera, but the person using it. This I know. Some of most prized prints of my photos are from cameras made in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. It's not the camera. But still...I love my lenses! I love my Nikon gear. It's mine, mine, all mine. And I worked hard to get it all. Damn it. Why shouldn't I be proud of it. Sure, I can buy an offbrand lens for a lot less. But will it still have the same feel to it. Is it just my perception of the nikkor lenses that make them so special to me? I really only have 3 lenses - a 24 mmm, a 28-105, and my 70-180 macro. I would sleep with that lens under my pillow if it wouldn't mess it up. Seriously. It's not even about them being "my possesions". It's more that they are the tools that I use to express myself. Some people do that thru painting or writing or music. I do it thru my Nikon. Besides, I wouldn't trust anything else to capture every one of Madison's freckles!!!

Max About Max

2007-01-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

So...Is it just because I'm his aunt that I think Max is the cutest little guy ever?

I admit that I'm biased. But if you could just see him in person. He is a total character and his laugh is completely contagious. Sometimes when he's happy, he does this snuffling thing as if he's a miniature snuffleumpagus (however that's spelled). Of all the photos I took, I only caught him doing it once...

This little car he's in had a dead battery so it didn't go anywhere but he had fun sitting in it and moving all the parts. Plus, it was a beautiful sunny day and we were just enjoying the sunshine.

There were plenty of missed photo opportunities. You have got to be fast and have your camera ready and sometimes I was just too busy watching him to remember my camera. I wish I had gotten him eating - how deliberate he is when he's putting his cheerios in his mouth. How he has tons of teeth but uses his front ones to munch. How he likes to take big swigs of his milk. Darn it!

The day I left, I was up before anyone else and I heard him chattering away. So I went in his room and he smiled at me and showed me his blanket. I said "Come on, Max, let's change you." and he curled up into a ball and pretended to go to sleep. So I waited a while and he "woke up". I reached out my arms and said it again. Again he pretended to sleep but the whole time he's smiling. :) And I was kicking myself for not bringing my camera upstairs with me and missing those shots. So how did I get him out and changed? I sat in the rocking chair and pretended to play with his toys and he came over and reached his arms out to me! Ha. I outsmarted him. Ok, I know he's only one. But the whole goal was to do this quietly and not wake up the whole house so mission accomplished.

These are a few more photos of Max and Peyton. It's a slideshow (6 pics) but I couldn't figure out how to embed it. I was surprised that Peyton waited for him to come out to her. It was like she knew he was making a bee line for her.

Tortilla Heaven

2007-01-15T12:12:00.000-08:00

I'm back from my vacation. Both I and my camera got quite a workout. Let me tell you! Thank goodness I had a few hours to myself while Max was napping and the girls were in school or I'd have never made it. I can't imagine having done this back in my couch potato days. Although...I did get stuck on the curvy slide at the park until Madison informed me that I should bend my knees and keep my legs tucked. Then it worked just fine. One thing I love about those kids is that they really love being outside. If it's warm enough and dry, they are scootering, riding bikes, playing basketball, skip it-ing...you name it. Even Max would look longingly out the window and then run to the door when I said it was time to play. He loves to ride his tri-bike. Ok, his tricycle. And he can't reach the pedals really yet so all he does is push himself backwards with his feet. Still...I can see the cyclist in him already. Wishful thinking?

When it's cold or dark, then it's inside time. I wowed them with my dinosaur/cat/camera playdoh creations. Morgan, the card shark, beat me many, MANY times at Rummy. And yes, I was the Old Maid on more than one occasion. Saturday night, we decided to make tortillas. My sister and I thought it would be fun since we hadn't rolled tortillas since we were kids, I think. Anyway, it gave us a chance to tell the girls about our Grandma Poncha and how she used to make them. We were marveling to ourselves at all the work it was and that Grandma had done it EVERY morning! We had a new appreciation for how lucky we were growing up. So...we took turns rolling them out - Susan, my nieces, and me. None of them came out round! The United States, Mickey Mouse, a heart, a bat. I suggested we could use a coffee can to make them round! Did I mention that my grandmother's were perfectly round every time and she used to roll them with one hand! But they had more character this way and made the girls laugh. And boy were they DELICIOUS. Hot off the griddle, melting with butter...HEAVEN.

And then it was Sunday and I had to fly home. :( With good memories but an achy heart. My plane flies over thier house and I told Morgan what time I would be flying over so she could go out and look for me. I waved but I don't think she saw me! Just one last look for me until the next time. Oh but I do have pictures! Woo!

Where The Little Things Are

2007-01-09T12:35:00.000-08:00

I'm on vacation. Woo! In Arizona. Woo! I flew out on Saturday for my sister's birthday and I'm staying til Sunday. Let's just say, my camera is smoking it's taking soooo many photos. :) All the little things are cooperating and are being excellent models. The not-so-little one, Morgan, is not! And she used to be my best model. :( And cheap too. It only used to cost a $1 for a "photo session". However, I think I have them primed for triathlons already. I showed them the video Trijack has on his blog of his kids doing their New Years Tri and they loved it and wanted to know if they could do one too. They were impressed that I do that! Now I just have to find a way to keep them interested until the tri in Goodyear next Oct. I think that's the closest one. We'll see.

Anywho...Here are two of the littlest wildlings. Max, the peanut. I love watching him explore and play. I love it best, though, when he reaches his little arms out for me to pick him up and then snuggles. I'm a puddle on the floor.

And this is Peyton, one of my sister's two weenie dogs. She was rescued about 8 years ago and given to my sister. The monster that had her didn't feed her and abused her. :( What I wouldn't give to find that person in a dark alley! For a long time, she was really skittish and she never did get plump like most weenie dogs do. But she is a lovey little dog who will curl up in your lap as soon as you sit down. She's patient with the kids, even Max, and she's a great gaurd dog. She's loves the sun so it's a good thing she lives in the desert! She even models for me. :)

Tulip Wrapped

2007-01-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

More tulips. I had planned b&w for these but I couldn't do it. I had to go with color. Reds and greens are just too close when converted to black & white. Besides, sometimes it's not only about the light but also about the color. Only in color could the photo show the lushness of this little tulip. The vase it was in fell over and the water spilled all over it. My cat had come over to investigate and bumped it. Thus the water drops. I decided to leave them and not wipe them off. I loved how the little leaf on this one curls around it. I don't see that often. I must have taken 100 shots of this tulip. These are just a few.

Annie Leibovitz, Part 2

2007-01-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

Annie Leibovitz was on American Masters last night. I watched it, of course. As I mentioned in this post, I am a big fan of hers. I loved the show because not only did it showcase her photos, but it also showed her at work. I was drooling over the cameras she had. I found it most interesting to hear her talk about how she didn't know what she was doing along the way. It's funny to hear someone that you think is a genius express doubts. And it was funny to hear what the critics said about her. Everyone has critics, huh? You can't please everyone. So you have to please yourself!

I like her simple portraits best. Like this one. Or this one. I think that simplicity is what I try to achieve with my shots. Just the subject and the light. It's always all about the light.

These are some tulips I picked this weekend. I never get bored with tulips even though they aren't always easy to shoot. I played around with sepia and borders a little. I don't usually put borders on my photos. Maybe a white or black one around it. They kind of remind me of an old postcard or something.

The Great Rain Tragedy

2007-01-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

I used to have a Fuji 6x9 Rangefinder. It's a medium format camera. Solid. Wide Angle. Really sharp. I only had it for a little while because I sold it to buy my 70-180 macro. I don't regret that in the least because I love my macro lens. However, that camera is at the center of the Great Rain Tragedy. One of the few times that photography made my heart ache. Made me cry, no sob, really. And I had no one to blame but myself. And the weather gods. And my photography professor. Ok, it was really just me. Sigh.

Let's go back a few years...I was taking night classes at Cal Poly Pomona and one of the classes was Photography. We had to take our assignments every week to be "critiqued" by the professor and fellow students. We shot slides, of course, so we could view them together. I carried my slides, ALL my favorites, in a portfolio box. One night, it was pouring rain. Buckets. Oceans of rain. I was driving a car back then (gasp!) and I made my way thru the rivers to school. I grabbed my portfolio box and ran to class. Only the professor wasn't there. He'd cancelled. Argh. So I ran back thru the rain and made my way back thru the rivers, sans oars, to my nice dry home. I was soaked to the skin. My first priority was to get dry and get warm. After a while, I grabbed my school stuff to put it away. When I picked up my portfolio box, a few drops of water fell onto the floor. No, no, no. Please, no. I crossed my fingers and opened the box...

Aaahhhhhhh! Yes, you guessed it...WATER. IN MY BOX. A few pages deep. Covering the pages that held my medium format slides. I frantically pulled out the slides and dried them off. But it was too late. They were warped. Stained. RUINED!!! Some of the 6x6s from my Yashica. And all but one of the 6x9s from the Fuji. Or so I thought. I still had the 6x6 so there was the possiblity of taking those shots again, especially the ones from Joshua Tree. Oh, they wouldn't be the same but who knows, I might like them better. But the 6x9s from the Fuji...since that camera was gone so were any hopes of redoing those. All I have left of that camera is this one slide.

And then when I was copying it the other day, I saw that it has some damage too. A tiny bit of warping in the sky. You can see it if you click on the photo...towards the center. So really I have no slides left from the Fuji.

Well, I do also have this one tiny scan of another shot that a friend put on his website. That's it. Nada mas.

Both are of the Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forsest in the White Mountains. That was quite a trek. I drove 10 miles over a dirt road to get to Patriarchs Bowl. The view up there was amazing. I felt like I was on top of the world. It was so beautiful. And weird. Those trees are thousands of years old. Talk about feeling small and insignificant in the world! And then I realized why I was the only one up there when I heard thunder rolling my way and there was no where to hide. So I hightailed it back to my car and started driving back in the rain. And that dirt road turned into mud. It took forever and I thought a couple of times that I was stuck (I was in a Rav4) but I prayed and I made it out and safely back down the mountain. That, my friends, was a close one.

So I'm sure you can guess what losing those slides meant to me. After all the adventure and the beauty that I had seen up there, it made me cry to see them shriveled up and scattered on the table. I think that's why I now embrace digital. I not only have copies of my photos on my laptop, but on cd, and on an external drive. And some of them are stored on a website. That's NOT going to happen to me again!

Freelance

2007-01-02T15:00:00.000-08:00

No, not Free Lance. He's fine. I mean Freelance Photography. My sister bought me a book for Christmas on how to become a Freelance Photographer. Would that not be cool? To make a living as a photographer? The only problem, of course, is me. I have sold one or two of my prints before. And I've been the photographer for 3 weddings (one as an assistant), 1 birthday party, 1 Company Aniversary Party, and quite a few dinners and events for a charity. And too many portrait sessions to count.

But since most of these were for friends or family, I didn't charge much, if anything. A family friend who built up a very successful business has said that I don't put enough value on my work. That if I want it to be valued, I have to charge what I'm worth. The problem I have is that I usually have so much fun doing this stuff, that I find it hard to charge someone for my fun! But I realize that has to change. If I want to be successful that is. My stepmom was telling me about some friends of hers who just had a sitting with a photographer. They paid her $500 for the sitting. Guess how much I charged for my photo session with my friend Mo and her family last month? Five Zero. Yep, $50. But hey, they bought me dessert too! And really, they've given me countless rides places so I think it was fair. Mo told me they chose these to blow up to 16x20 and that the grandparents loved them. These are not the ones I would have chosen but I haven't had a chance to ask her why these. They had about 120 shots to choose from. I'm curious.

Sure, one day, I would like to see my work hanging in a galery or The Getty or LACMA (dream big!). But until then, I will have to figure out how to make my photography pay for itself.

Morgan & Madison

2006-12-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

I had the BEST Christmas. Ever. My nieces and nephew were here (with their mom and dad, of course) and we all spent it at my mom's. Plenty of picture taking insued. The girls, as always, were happy to model for me. Although they didn't seem to eager to share this chair. But the Christmas spirit won out. Or did it?

I Can Hardly Wait

2006-12-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

One of the fun things about photography is seeing your photos on the wall of someone's house. All of my family & friends have my work on their walls - some landscapes, some flowers, but mostly photos of my nieces and nephew. For Christmas, both my mother and my sister asked me to do photobooks of Max. I can't wait til they open them! I also made collage prints of the girls for both of them (and one set for me). I turned photos of the girls into puzzles for them. And I made calendars for my stepmom and my aunt. Will Christmas never get here?

I also heard from Mo that they had 4 of the photos I took this weekend made into 16x20's for the grandparents and themselves, a few 8x10s and various other prints. She was very happy with how they turned out. So I'll get to see those too when I go over there. Yeah.

I haven't printed any of my photos for me lately. I was thinking I would print this one of the Coral Pink Sand Dunes that I took a few years ago.

I took this photo during a birthday trip to Utah to see Zion & Bryce Canyon. I thought it would be warm since my birthday is in May but the nights were freezing cold still. I ended up using my Yashica 6x6 camera (thus the square) a lot since the batteries in my 35mm kept dying from the cold. One plus though was that there was a little rain and clouds around during the trip so it made for some very dramatic skies. The birthday fairies were definitely making sure I saw these parks to their best advantage. Anyway, I remember the sand being cool and soft and quiet. No one was around, just me and the critters that made those tracks. Funny thing is that I don't remember being nervous about that.

My Grandma - Part II

2006-12-20T12:13:00.000-08:00

A while back, I posted this post - My Grandma but didn't include any photos. You would think that since she gave me my first real camera, I would have tons of photos of her. And there are a lot of her around from when I was little. But by the time I really started taking photos, she was sick and didn't like anyone taking photos of her. These I just scanned a couple of nights ago. I had picked her up from dialysis that Saturday and she was tired but she let me snap a few. I think more than anything because she didn't want to discourage me. I took them with Scala B&W slide film which has sort of a greenish tint to it so I toned them, or the one anyway. The dog was my grandparents dog, Punky. She was a really good and smart dog but she also hated for me to take her photos. Something about the sound made her skittish. She only let me on this day because my grandmother told her to stay. Otherwise, she would have been hiding in the back yard. I was trying to take a photo of her to give to my grandfather.

Photo Shoot

2006-12-17T15:27:00.000-08:00

Work and the Holidays are crazy right now. I haven't had a chance to blog here or on my trifuel blog at all in the past week. I have been posting my photos on my photoblog which I really like. And I have been shooting like crazy this past week or so. More than I have in a long time. I had a photo shoot on Saturday. The weather said it was going to be rainy but we went down to Laguna and the weather held for us. These are my friends Dave & Mo, their son Kyle and Dave's brother and nieces. It was a lot of fun. I took these in color but kind of like the black and white set.

Leaf Expedition

2006-12-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

I joined photoblog.com a couple of weeks ago. It's a more photo oriented blog group. There are hundreds and hundreds of photos posted every day of everything you can imagine. Looking at the photo's that my "friends" and others post has inspired me to get out my camera more. Saturday morning, I planned a photo expedition. All week long, as I ride my bike to work in beautiful, sunny, southern california, the light has been fantastic. That perfect lighting that spotlights the leaves and adds a glisten to the dew. That makes the trees glow in yellow, orange, red, and green. As if the world I was riding thru had a ceiling of made of stained glass. Every day it's like that and every day I feel blessed to be able to ride my bike to work so I can enjoy it...stop to smell the leaves, if you will. And every day, I wish I had my camera with me. But numerous falls and getting hit by a car once has made me nervous to carry my camera for extended rides or around traffic. So I usually only take it out on my bike on the weekend. So Saturday, by golly, I was so there.

And then, wouldn't you know...Saturday dawned a gloomy and cloudy morning. Aaahhhh! Where is my light? But I went anyway. It was fun. I'm sure people thought I was crazy peering at leaves on the side of the road. Another cyclist paused to make sure I was okay. My mom's boyfriend came by and made a u-turn for the same reason. A co-worker mentioned today that he saw me out there.

The gloominess meant more even lighting but it also meant slower shutter speeds or less depth of field. I "pushed" to 800 and shot mostly at F5 to get enought shutter speed to reduce the chance of shaking (by me or the wind). Hopefully, the light will be there next weekend and some leaves will still be there. Cross your fingers.

Zebras, Giraffes, and Wolves...Oh my

2006-12-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

I really need a longer zoom lens. I have a 400 lens which is pretty cool. I thought about taking it when I went to the Living Desert but I have to use a tripod with it and since I was going with other people, I thought it would be rude. Then I thought about taking my 70-180 macro lens. But it's kind of heavy and I'd also really need a tripod for that. Plus, since it's a macro lens, it doesn't focus too fast. So I took my 28-105 which wasn't long enough for some of the animals. In the interest of full disclosure, I did do some cropping on these pictures (besides the sometimes crop to 8x10).

The zebras is the most obvious because I cropped it to panorama. I also cropped a little off the right side.

I cropped a little off the bottom of the giraffe to get rid of a rail the giraffe was peering over and then cropped it to 8x10.

The wolf is also cropped to 8x10 but this one has the most significant cropping on it (top and bottom as well as the sides) to get in tighter on it. I cropped maybe a 3rd of this photo. Which niggles at me a little but it was just too far away. Sigh.

Anyway...I am looking at the 70-300 VR (vibration reduction) lens that is coming out from Nikon soon. Hopefully soon. It should come in handy for tri photos as well. I put my name on the list at B&H to let me know when it's in. Cross your fingers!

My Favorite Models

2006-12-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

I entered one of my photos in the bimonthly NikonNet Photo contest. It wasn't selected. I am a little bummed about that. This is only the 2nd time I've submitted a photo in a contest. The last time, I entered "On The Edge" and 4 others to the Photography Exhibit at the Los Angeles County Fair about 7 years ago. "On The Edge" won an honorable mention but the other 4 were sent packing. Sometimes all you get is praise for your photos and you start to think you are all that and a bag of chips and then you try something like this and it brings you down to earth. There's a qoute from Ansel Adams that I have to remind myself of often. "Twelve significant photographs in any one year is a good crop." So I'll keep trying. I think I might submit this one next:

I like the color and the framing and the way the light hits Maddie's face.

These next two I took this past weekend. I didn't take a whole lot of photos and these two I liked but there are some if only's in them. I wish Maddie's had a more uniform/darker background to make her face pop out more. I wish Morgan's sweater hadn't left fuzzies on her shirt. But I like the fact that both of them are side-ish views and I caught them while they were pensive. I think they were both wondering if they had been good enough this year for Santa to visit!

Wedding Photos

2006-12-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

No, not my wedding. Photos from the wedding I took in October. I shot the wedding in color but they also wanted b&w versions. These I toned in Sepia. I think it works with the setting. Weddings are fun to shoot but intense. I like capturing the candid moments but it's stressful because you have to make sure you catch all the important moments too.

Birds of a Feather

2006-11-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

These aren't the greatest pics of birds. They are a little too dark and I wish the eagle was looking at me. But I still like them. They are also from the Living Desert - usual suspects D200 & 28-105. I would also have liked to use a flash, especially on the owl but that would have been rude. Both of the birds are unrealeasable. The eagle was found and hand raised and doesn't know how to hunt so it can't be released. I can't remember why the owl can't be. A lot of the birds that are there have been rescued.

This is a Golden Eagle:

And I think this is a Screech Owl???

Butterflies Alive

2006-11-29T12:03:00.000-08:00

I went to the Living Desert on Saturday with my friend, Jackie, from work. Her brother and his wife went also. It was my first time there and it was good to have Jackie (who is a member) there to be our cruise director. There is an exhibit there called Butterflies Alive where you can get up close and personal with them while they flit about you. I loved it. I've never taken a picture of a butterfly before. Oh sure, I've chased bees around but never a butterfly. Anyway, I had a blast and it was quite challenging because, you know, they don't stay still long. I only wish I'd had my 70-180 macro. All of these are with my D200 and nikkor 28-105 lens.

This one is my favorite. Some kind of sulphur butterfly.

This one is a Giant Swallowtail

This one is a Julia

This one is a Zebra Longwing

Another Julia

Another Sulphur

A few of my favorite things

2006-11-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

You know what's cool. I remember exactly where I was and the exact moment I pushed the button of every picture I've taken. Every photo for me is a memory keepsake of a new place, a beautiful sight, someone I love, or just plain fun. These are a few of my favorite photos and memories.

This one was taken at Joshua Tree with my 4x5 view camera. The kind with bellows and you have to use a black cloth over it and your head and you have to load the film one by one in the cartridge in a black bag. It was cool, late afternoon, silent. No one else was around for miles except the coyotes, birds, snakes, lizards. I remember hauling that camera and all my gear in my backpack over rocks and thru the desert. I almost fell backwards one time because my backpack was so heavy. I only took a few shots with the 4x5 but it was definitely worth all the effort.

This one was taken at Bryce Canyon on a long weekend I took to celebrate my birthday. I took it with my Sigma 35mm camera (which I don't have anymore) and it was freezing cold that morning, literally. I remember driving in the dark to get to the park before sunrise. There were a couple of other photographers there waiting for the sun to come up just like me. We were all blowing on our fingers to keep them warm. I took my camera out of my bag and put it on the tripod and got only a few shots before my batteries died from the cold! The waiting was the hard part. Waiting for just the right light.

This one is of Zion and I took it on that same trip. I used my Yashica 124G box camera, an old camera where you have to look down thru the viewfinder and there's a crank to wind the film. Love that camera. It shoots 6x6 squares. It was warm and there seemed to be tons of people in Zion that day. I remember waiting for people to finish crossing the bridge so I could take it.

This one is also from Bryce and I took it with the Sigma. I remember walking up to the rim and seeing this tree standing there and being so amazed I almost forgot I had my camera. Then I bracketed the shot to make sure I got it just right. This one and the one of Joshua Tree at the top are, I think, my two best landscape shots.

Leaf Musings

2006-11-14T12:12:00.000-08:00

I picked up a few leaves on the ride home from work a couple of weeks ago. I thought they were colorful and interesting. This one I shot on top of my light tablet. It's what gives it the white background and it's what gives it that glow. I was afraid it might come out cheesy but I like the floatiness of it. Oh yeah, that's a technical photography term. No cropping.

This one was lit by room light and flash. It's of the underside of a leaf. I thought it was more suited to black and white. I also applied a slight antique tint to it. Again, no cropping.

This one I cropped to 8x10 (as opposed to the normal scale of 8x21) and it is also lit by flash and again from the back. I liked the curl of the leaf on this one and the almost leathery texture. As you can see, it's also the underside of the leaf. I often shoot flowers and leaves from their backsides. I also chose a black background for this to isolate it.

Last, but not least...an extreme closeup. God, I love my macro lens. It's as sharp as a pin. This one is also lit from behind by the light tablet. I wanted to fill the frame with the leaf. It's almost like a view from a plane of some exotic other world with roads and fields and rivers. No cropping on this one either.

What A Triathlete Looks Like

2006-11-10T13:11:00.000-08:00

So what does a triathlete look like? You never know. It could be the man next to you in line at the grocery store. It could be that mom picking up her kids from school. Heck, it might even be one of those school kids. The other day I ordered pizza and I answered the door wearing my volunteer shirt from the BOD (Bonelli Olympic Distance tri). The delivery guy said "oh, I raced there that day". Small world, eh? Sports photography is a new thing for me. I'd never tried that til this year. When injuries prevented me from doing the Danskin, I thought I would go and take pictures of it. And what do you know? I love it. These are some of the photos I've taken at recent tris.

My Grandma

2006-11-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

My grandmother's birthday was Monday. She would have been 82. I miss her. You know, it's because of her that I consider myself a photographer. She bought me my first real camera - a Canon AE-1P. She claimed she bought it so she could have really good photos of the family. But then she asked me to learn how to use it and then I was assigned to taking the pictures from then on. Funny how she worked that, don't you think? I'd always had fun taking pictures before with my little Kodak camera that I had and used to try and catch people with. But it wasn't til that camera that I paid attention to what I was doing with it. I wish she were alive today to see all the photos I've taken of Morgan, Madison, & Max. I think they definitely would have made her laugh.

Some of my favorite memories of her:
*Waking up on cold dark mornings and sitting at the kitchen table while she fed us tortillas w/butter hot off the grill.
*Shopping trips that always ended up at Thrifty's for an ice cream.
*Watching her and my grandfather dance every chance they got.
*How every telenova was going to be her last one and then when it was over, she'd start watching the next one.
*Driving my sister & I around town in the boat (a 59 Chevy Impala - mint).
*Going to all the kids movies with her even when I was in my 20's, okay 30's too.
*Watching her talk to & take care of the birds that she'd rescued.

You know what the best part was? The fact that I knew she loved me totally and unconditionally. Me, the stubborn, moody, sometimes bratty one who wasn't always easy to love. I loved her for that and I hope to God that she knew it. I hope she knew how much she gave me. And I hope I gave a little back to her as well.

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

2006-10-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

There was an airshow in Goodyear while I was in Arizona. Both my sister and my dad live in the flight path for Luke AFB so we're used to see jets all the time. But the Blue Angels were at the air show and that was a great surprise. None of us had seen them before. We had fun watching them zip across the sky and fly straight up into the heavens and then dive bomb back down to earth. Sometimes, they flew over us so low it seemed you could reach up and touch them. I took pictures, of course. I wish I'd had a longer lens!

I've been to one other airshow before and tried taking pictures there too. It's not that easy to take pictures of planes while they are flying. They don't stand still.

So yeah, a longer lens would definitely help. Taking pictures at an airshow is definitely a challenge. But at least it's fun to watch while you are trying!

This picture is of the Metro train. I took it a few years ago when I took a photography class. The instructor was an a$$. Basically he told us that painters were true artists and photographers only took photos because they couldn't paint. Here's where I rant a little. A lot of his projects had us taking pictures while not looking thru the lens or distorting what we saw. Now, to me, the whole idea of photography is to share my view with the rest of the world. To record how I see. How am I supposed to do that if I'm not looking! Anyway, I do have to say that some of the assignments made me step out of the box and that was a good thing. This is an out of the box picture for me. It was for an assignment on motion.

This was a little easier to compose and shoot but I only really had one chance to get it so I was lucky it came out.

Hmmm...so no pictures of cars yet. I was thinking of going to one of the local old car club events they have every Saturday down the street from me. There are some very cool cars there. Or maybe the races. Hmmm...

Substitue Mom For A Week

2006-10-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

According to my niece, Morgan, I am their substitute mom this week. Yep, I'm in Arizona getting my munchkin fix. Of course, they are the cutest kids EVER. Not that I'm prejudiced or anything. Ok, I am. Of course, I am. Anyway, so far, so good. All kids are accounted for and doing fine. Nothing broken on a kid or in the house. The only casualty is the missing Hooters frisbee which we hope to look for again this morning. Some quick thoughts:

Max is a heartbreaker. Everytime he smiles at me or reaches for me to hold him, he steals another piece of my heart. But as soon as he sees his mommy, it's Tia who? He's getting better at letting me take his pictures and even smiles for me. Woo. He's babbling still, no talking. Runs like the wind is a bright and curious little boy.

Madison is the stubbornest little girl you'll ever meet. Hoo is that kid stubborn. Probably because she's a Taurus like her Tia. I'm not too stubborn. Much. But she's quick to smile and hilarious. Sometimes, it's so hard to be "stern Tia" when she says something funny but I'm not supposed to laugh. Right now she is quite an accomplished Pole Slider Downer (just like a fireman) and not afraid of it at all (of which she is quite proud of and rightly so).

Morgan is whip smart, still loves horses, and still wants to be a vet. She's good with money and great about saving for the things she wants. She just bought her gecko a new tank and re-decorated her room in a surfer girl motif. She's not even 9 yet. She asks a lot of questions and always takes it to the next step. Sometimes, I forget that she's still a kid who plays Barbies and gets scared. She has a little bit of the drama queen in her which always made for great photo ops for me. But...sniffle, sniffle, she's starting to get self-conscious about having her picture taken. Sigh.

Flower Power

2006-10-13T12:42:00.000-07:00

Flowers are yet another one of my favorite things to photograph. Probably because there is an inifite variety of them in all shapes, sizes, colors. It's kind of like taking portraits of people. Only, it's easier to photograph flowers.

For flowers, it's all about the light. Actually, photography is always all about the light but more so with flowers I think. I love to see flowers lit like this. Almost like a spotlight from above saying "hey look at the beauty that surrounds you and ignore the bad stuff going on in the world."

Sometimes it boggles my mind to think of how many beautiful and unique things there are in this world. It makes me believe there is a hand guiding things along.

Yet, I also find myself taking lots of black and white pictures of flowers. Is a flower still beautiful without all the color?

Both of these shots were handheld in late afternoon light. The sunflower definitely could have used more depth of field but I had to keep a workable shutter speed on it. Should have used my tripod. Sigh. The daisy I ended up putting in this little vase because my cat started eating them and he bit this one off! The shape almost seemed human - head, body, hand on hip. Like it was daring me to take the picture anyway.

Falling Leaves

2006-10-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

We don't really have a fall season in our little part of Southern California. But still, there are trees with multi-colored leaves right now. Last night on the way home, I was distracted by them - yellow, orange, red. Just lying in the road. I kept looking at them to see if there were any interesting ones to photograph. Which is pretty hard to do while you are riding a bike. There is a whole section of my commute that I don't remember because I was distracted.

I like to photgraph a leaf because...I'm not sure why. Sometimes I just like the shape of them. Sometimes it's the color. Sometimes it's because they look like mini stained glass windows with the light shining thru them. Sometimes it's their shadow. This one was all about the shadow. It's a copy of slide. I used to shoot b&w slide film a lot.

Crystal Cove

2006-10-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

Crystal Cove State Park is another one of my favorite places to photograph. It doesn't get too crowded there and you have the option of views from the bluff or down in the surf. These are some of the photos I've taken there over the years. All of them were experiments. They are also all copies of slides with my D200.

The bottom one was a long exposure at sunset. The shot was bracketed and I liked this one best. It's a little dramatic and the clouds really picked up the colors of the sunset.

The top one is also close to sunset and it's looking into the sun across the rocky shore.

The middle shot is looking straight down into the shallows. Because of all the rocks and tide pools there, this area just has gently lapping waves and I thought the patterns in the sand and the sun reflecting thru the water was cool.

Globe Trekker

2006-10-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite shows is Globe Trekker. I guess you can see it on the Travel Channel but since I don't have cable, I watch it on PBS on Saturdays and Sundays. Love this show. I love that they go to not typical places and really get to know the people and the advertous side of that spot on the globe.

Now, I haven't done nearly enough Globe Trekking. My sister moved to North Carolina 12 years ago. It'll be 4 years in January that she's been living in Arizona. Still, that means that for the past 12 years, all my vacations have been to visit her & the family. Or vacations here at home when they come to visit. Not that I didn't love being with them, but it meant that I didn't get to see much of the world.

I think that is about to change. Well, not right away. But next summer I am going to take an Adventure vacation. I mean it. A vacation where I get to learn to kayak and climb rocks and ride a mountain bike. Now that I get 3 weeks of vacation a year and my debt is manageable, I think it's doable. I think I need to do it.

Photographing Buildings

2006-09-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Frank Gehry was on American Masters, PBS, on Wednesday. I watched it, of course. For a couple of reasons.

1-I wanted to see what his thought process was behind his work. How he came up with his ideas and what inspired him. I am fascinated with how things are created. I think that's why I like dvds with commentary. It's fun to hear what the directors/cinematographers were thinking when a film was created. I like to know what makes artists tick.

2-The photo of the Disney Concert Hall that I recently took. I have fun photographing buildings. Not quite as much fun as people but still it's fun. The only problem with photographing a building is that it's there all the time. Sometimes, it's been there forever (or at least a couple hundred years). I often think the building must have been photographed thousands of times. How will my photo be different? Or will it mirror countless others?

In general, I usually photograph a building because something about caught my eye. It's usually that something that I try to capture. With the California Missions, I think I try to capture the past. A moment in time where I wasn't. I have a goal to photograph all of the missions. I'm not there yet but I'm on my way.

Other times, I like a building because of it's patterns. Which is why I took that photo of the Disney Concert Hall. This one I took at the Getty. More so I think because the two buildings together made an interesting pattern. (it's a copy of a slide)

This one is also from the getty. I liked that amongs all the lines and right angles, there were these curvy humans. I wondered if the architecht thought of that when he designed the space. This is also a copy of a slide and I'm sorry it has a little flare in it.

I also don't like the composition of it. It's a little off. But I keep it around to remind myself what I was trying. I do that with a lot of my photos/slides.

Back to buildings...I guess the challenge is to find the character of a building. It's easier with people because we have emotions and expressive faces. With buildings, I think you have to do it with mood & lighting. Hard but fun to try.

Annie Leibovitz

2006-09-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

I don't usually buy Newsweek. If I read it, it's because I'm in a doctor's office. Last night I stopped at the store for the essentials - orange juice and cat food - and the cover of Newsweek caught my eye. It was a picture of Annie Leibovitz and her children with the title "My Life in Pictures". She has always been one of my favorite photographers. I love her portraits. She always seems to catch the beingness of a person. It was interesting to read that she didn't think she was "a great studio portraitist". I guess no matter how good you are you're never satisfied. Which is a good thing otherwise there's no growth.

I think she's amazing and her work has always inspired me to take different portraits. To maybe not frame something in an expected way. To try and catch an emotion or a feeling. Not only with expressions but with body language. I love to take pictures of smiling and laughing people like this one from the party I shot on Saturday…

But I also like to take pictures of quiet moments. Like this one (also from the party) of Jillian and her dad...

My goal when I'm taking pictures at an event is to first get the expected shots - blowing out the birthday candles, the bride & groom's first kiss, etc. But once I get those out of the way, I like to see if I can capture the interactions between people. Or the moments where someone is relaxed and enjoying themselves. The trick is to have them not be self-conscious with the camera around. One of the ways that works for me is to get to know them and then take a lot of pictures. A lot. So they will get used to having me around. After a while, I find they almost forget about me and then the photos I'm looking for come easier. It doesn't work with everyone. Some people just don't like having their pictures taken (like me which is why I'm BEHIND the camera). Some people are hams (like my nieces and Mondi's kids).

Taking pictures for other people is an interesting thing. I'd always thought that working as a photographer would take some of the fun out of it. It doesn't. I have great fun getting pictures that make people smile or laugh or groan (but in a good, wry kind of groan). It's a much more hectic than most of my photography, except maybe sports. Most of the time, I'm setting up the shot, walking around checking out different angles and different light, and deciding how I'm going to shoot it - b&w or color, fast or slow, depth of field. With an event, there's usually no do-overs (um, can you exchange rings again cuz i missed that?) so you have to stay on your toes. It's a little nerve wracking but a fun challenge.

The pictures from the party came out well and Leigh was really happy with them. Woo! She asked me to take more portraits of the family for Christmas. Can't wait. And I still have to take pictures of Mo's family. And the wedding is next month. My photography is hopping!

Like An Ostrich

2006-09-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am an ostrich. This I know. I would like to change that aspect of myself but I haven't gotten around to working on it yet. I say I'm an ostrich because I have a tendancy to stick my head in the sand. (Oh, and I know they don't really do that). Anyway, when Wendy told me there were 55 people in the homeless group she works with, I was a little shocked. I hadn't realized there were that many in just one of our little suburb cities. I'm not sure why I'm shocked as I've heard the statistics for LA & San Bernardino Counties before. I don't see them though. There are a few people that I see often while I'm riding my bike around and a couple that was living along the tracks I run on. Did I think they were the only ones? No, honestly, I tried not to think about it.

When I took the train into LA a few weekends ago, it was depressing to see the camps that were set up underneath the overpasses. And when I first started riding on the River Ride path, I was shocked to see so many people living in camps along there too. It made me sad and a little guilty. It seemed wrong that so many expensive bikes were riding past them when they had nothing. But what could I do? I couldn't buy them a house or a car. I could give them money but it wouldn't be much and then they would be right back where we started. So I would feel overwhelmed and do nothing. And bury my head in the sand so I wouldn't have to think about it.

Which is what I've done in the past regarding my weight, and M, and work, and my mom, and my debt. Luckily, I finally started dealing with all those things and I'm in a good place where they are concerned. Except for M but he's a whole other story.

On a more fun note...Kelly loved the scarf. Also, I'm taking pictures of a birthday party tomorrow and Sunday is Terry & Bre's engagement/bridal shower so it's a full weekend.

It's Here

2006-09-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, I drink a lot of Diet Coke. A lot. And I've been doing the Coke Rewards to get some "free stuff". And by free, I mean I could/should own the company by now with the amount of Diet Coke I drink. So far, I've been rewarded the following:

-1 8x10 print from Kodak Gallery
-1 8X10 collage print from Kodak Gallery
-1 Memory Book from Kodak Gallery (10 pages free plus the 10 or so I added).
-1 16x20 print from Kodak Gallery

Are you sensing a theme here? So...the last item I cashed in was the 16x20. Now I haven't really blown up a whole lot of prints that big. Mostly 8x10 or 11x14. The only 16x20 print I'd done prior to this was from this which I took at Joshua Tree with a 4x5 View Camera (you know - the whole black cloth thing).

So THIS 16x20 is of this picture which I took while I was shooting the LA Tri. It was kind of a grab shot but I really like it. And in looking at the print, I was really excited to see how crisp and sharp it was. It's not exactly 16x20 because I didn't crop it so it will be interesting to frame. I love seeing my photographs on the wall - mine or someone else's. It's such a trip. A little part of me that will still be around after I'm gone.

Photo Bug

2005-12-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

Eric reminded me today that it's okay to sometimes be/feel crappy when you are doing something in order to one day be/feel great it. It's a lesson that I already know about photography and cross-stitch although it was a hard lesson to learn in both. I guess I have to apply that same knowledge to my training for triathlons. I'm not there yet though so I'm feeling crappy about my training this weekend.

I do, however, have some good news to report from this weekend. I did a photo shoot yesterday! It felt so good to have my camera in my hand again. It's hard to explain but it's like the camera is a part of my hand. It feels right. It belongs there. :) Anyway, Beth and Bret picked me up and we drove over to Cal State Fullerton. I shot 2 rolls of color and 1 of black & white and I think I got some really good shots. Bret was a little uncomfortable but there are some cute ones, I think. After that, we drove to Laguna Beach to meet Steph and Neil to take pictures of the two of them and then all four together. The sun was setting and it was a beautiful sunset. I snuck in one pic of it because I couldn't resist.

After that, we went to Ling & Luis (?) for some appetizer and drinks and then went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a good day. Tiring, but fun. I dropped off the film this morning and it should be ready by Wed or Thurs. We are supposed to meet at Lucille's for dinner (BBQ that I often smell while out riding my bike and it smells SOOOOO good) for Steph's B-Day so I'll hand over the stuff then and then get paid! Woo Hoo! Cross your fingers for me. :)

Mad Max

2005-10-25T13:03:00.000-07:00

My nephew Max is so very cute. Okay, I admit…I’m biased. I love the way he just curls up in my arms and goes to sleep. And the little noises he makes when he’s stretching or waking up. My heart melted over and over again. I am always amazed at the miracle that is a baby.

If there were anything I could wish for right now, it would be a baby translator. Just what is Max thinking? Did he wonder who this new woman was? What are those things on her eyes? Does he wonder what Yogi & Peyton (the two weenie dogs) are? Did he like my singing? Does he recognize my voice? It must be so weird to be a baby and be taken by people you’ve barely met (your parents) to a place you’ve never been (the house) and hear all kinds of new things. Right now, I guess, all Max cares about is eating and sleeping. Growing up is hard work. :)

I wish I lived near him so I don't miss anything. It's so hard being the best Aunt in the world when you live in another state. He's too young to talk to on the phone and he can't read. I hope he doesn't forget me.

Max

2005-09-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

My newphew Max was born yesterday, Sunday, Sept. 18th. He weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. He had a little trouble breathing in his first few moments, probably because it was a hard labor for my sister. But both of them are fine now. Which brings a sigh of relief to our family. Max is actually my sister's fourth child. Or he should have been. My sister had a miscarriage during her third pregnancy. And she, along with all of us, was nervous during this pregnancy. But everything was fine.

The other thing my sister was worried about was if Max's feet would be okay. Morgan, my oldest niece, was born with a club foot. She's had a few surgeries to try and straighten it out and she wore a brace when she was little. The doctor said she would most likely have to have more surgeries. But I guess, once you give birth to a child with this condition, then it ups the percentages for your other children, something like a 1 in 4 chance. But Max has perfect feet.

By the way...Morgan doesn't let her foot get in her way at all. She's a speed demon, running all over the place, faster than a speeding bullet. And none of us even think about it anymore until it's time for her to buy new shoes (one foot is smaller than the other). That kid rocks! :)

Morgan

2005-09-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Morgan is my older niece. She is 7 1/2 and in the second grade. What I love about Morgan is that she has total confidence right now. She can do anything and go anywhere and has no fear. She is very, very smart - almost too smart for her own good. And she's funny - our drama queen and fashionista. She loves to sing and dance and often puts on "shows" for us. It's pretty hilarious watching a 7 year old sing Red Neck Woman complete with cowboy boots.

A few typical Morganisms: at the age of 4 - "I'll never be a dog!". At the age of 5 "I guess I'll just use my tears for the watercolors!".

Morgan loves animals as much as I do, especially dogs and horses. She has a fish named BuddicaJoe that she says smiles at her to say hello. She wants to be a vet when she grows up so she can help animals who are sick. When I was there last week I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween and she said a horse. Then she said she wished she had a fairy godmother who she could ask to help Santa bring her a horse for Christmas. Or better yet, to turn her into a horse. I asked her if she wouldn't miss her family once she was a horse. She said she would so she would ask the fairy godmother to turn all of her family into horses. But she would be the leader. Gotta love a kid who knows what she wants.

Madison

2005-09-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

I need to lighten up so I'm going to talk about my niece, Madison, for a bit. She is 5 years old and a riot. She's a little quieter than Morgan (her older sister - the drama queen who loves the spotlight) but she is one stubborn & determined little girl. In some ways, she is very laid back and easy going. But if she wants something, she doesn't let anything or anyone get in the way. You should see the determination in her jaw when she is riding her bike as fast as her little legs will go to catch up with the bigger kids. She is a speed demon on her bike (just like her aunt). :) But it's not about winning for her. When we race (Morgan, Madison, & me), Morgan is all about winning and being first. Madison just runs for the joy of it. She isn't even aware of where we are. She's off in her own little world. I love that about her.

Madison doesn't watch tv or movies. She would rather be playing with her dolls. She has an infinite number of dolls and they are all named Baby. I asked her once why she didn't try Laura or Kathy or something else and she said she liked Baby. I'll never forget the utter glee on her face and the images of her literally jumping for joy last Christmas over the new kitchen and washer/dryer filled with baby clothes that her Papa gave her. I thought she was going to burst she was so happy. :)

She is also one smart little cookie. She started Kindergarden this year and so far her favorite part is recess. But she is working really hard on her numbers and letters and she loves books. I think she takes after me. :)

Oh, the places you'll go...

2005-08-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't been as many places as I would like. I have this urge to explore the world but so far, I haven't done it. Finding the time and money just hasn't been a priority, I guess. And when my sister moved to North Carolina, suddenly all of my vacations were there or here with her. Now she lives in Arizona so we see each other more often, but still my vacations are centered around visits there or here. Now that I have nieces (and a nephew on the way), it's hard to give up time visiting with them. I would like to take an adventure vacation, maybe in Colorado. Or take a cruise with Mondi and the gang. Or go on a working archeology dig/vacation. I'm currently saving for a trip but the destination is undecided. Where should I go?

So far these are the states I've visited...
California (most places between San Diego and San Francisco/Sacramento)
Arizona (most places)
Utah (Zion & Bryce Canyon)
Nevada (Las Vegas & Reno)
New Mexico (Albuquerque and Carlsbad Caverns)
North Carolina (Charlotte & Blue Ridge Mountains)
South Carolina (Charleston & Myrtle Beach)
Florida (Orlando)
Hawaii (Oahu & Kauai)
Louisiana (New Orleans)

And I've been to these states but only the airport so I guess they don't really count..
Texas
Georgia
Missouri

So that's a pretty short list that I really need to expand! These are the places I want to visit:
Colorado
Alaska
Oregon
Texas
Georgia
Canada
Spain
Peru
Egypt
Thailand
Italy
Greece
England
Anywhere in the Caribbean!
Any place really with ancient ruins!
Any place really where I can ride a bike!
Any place really...

On The Edge

2005-08-23T12:13:00.000-07:00

They announced at work today that tickets are available for the Los Angeles County Fair. I haven't been to the fair in a couple of years. I don't remember why I didn't go last year, but the year before that I had a broken leg. I love the fair. I love to see the exhibits and eat all my favorite foods - candy apples, beef dips, peanuts, Indian fry bread. Maybe that's why I didn't go last year, I was still trying to be good about what I was eating and the Fair holds too many temptations.

Another reason I love the Fair is the Photography and Crafts exhibits/contest. I like to see what people are creating out there. Some of the quilts and clothes are amazing. But it's the photo exhibit that I love the most. A few years ago, I entered some of my photos into the Fair. To my amazement, one of my pictures received an Honorable Mention. It's called On The Edge and it's a picture I took in Bryce Canyon, Utah (see picture). I actually entered 5 pictures that year but this was the only one that got an award. You'd think I'd feel rejected that the others didn't make it, but I wasn't (a big step for me, the ultimate people pleaser). I know that art is subjective and not everyone will like the same thing. It was photography that taught me what I like and don't like about other forms of art.

I've been thinking about photography a lot lately. A lot. Everyday really. And I've been looking at the photos I have on my wall and my camera bag sitting in the corner. It looks lonely. I really miss it and I need to find the time to get back into it. I missed a lot of great photo opportunities this spring because I was training for my first tri. The best times to take pictures - early morning & late afternoon (for what I like to take) are when I was training. And in the beginning of my training, I was too tired to go traipsing around with a camera anyway. I have to find a way to balance the two. Photography is my artistic outlet. I don't get the same sense from my cross-stitch projects. Probably because I'm working from patterns that someone else created. But with Photography, it's all me. How I framed it in the lens. The type of film I used (I'm a purist & anti-digital). The filters I use or don't use. Even the camera I take the picture with makes it different.

The other day, there was a quote that I applied to tri but now I'm going to apply it to Photography. "It's a dream until you write it down, and then it's a goal."-Anonymous. Well, I'm writing it down. I am going to take my camera out and starting taking pictures again. Next year, I am going to enter some photos at the Fair. Hopefully, next year at this time I'll have more good news to report. If not, at least I tried. :)

The Weenie

2005-08-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

My grandpa has a little weenie dog named Sophie (I call her Weenie). She's more of a family dog really. She started out as my mother's dog, but she was commandeered by my grandparents when my grandmother got sick. It was good for Sophie because it meant she wasn't alone all day. It was good for my grandparents because she is a total character and she made them smile. I think she helped my grandmother deal with her pain. And she kept my grandfather from getting lonely after my grandmother passed away. My sister, my nieces and I all love that little dog as if she were our own.

Last November, the vet told my grandfather that Sophie had an inoperable tumor and that she only had about 6 months to live. Someone must have forgotten to tell her though because Sophie is still with us, thank goodness. That little dog has so much heart and doesn't know when to quit. She still lives for treats and rides and dinner time. She's always up for a pat on the head or a tummy rub or just sitting next to you while you read a book. But she is getting slower and she's more likely to be napping than not. I don't know what my grandfather will do once she's gone.

I saw her yesterday and as usual, she came out to greet me and touch her nose to my hand. Then we went outside and she rolled around in the grass in the warm sunshine and chased birds out of the yard. It was total bliss for her and she looked like she was grinning. And we laughed to see her having so much fun.

I remember getting into an argument with someone once about whether or not dogs go to heaven. They said they didn't becuase they don't have a soul. I said how could they not when they give such unconditional love and joy to the people in their lives? I don't think in black & white about religion anymore. I was raised Catholic but I'm not practising anymore. I still go to mass sometimes, mostly for my grandfather and my mom, and while I do enjoy the cermony of it, it doesn't fit my beliefs anymore. I believe in a benevolent source. I believe that all things have a "soul" whether it's a person, a dog, or even a place. I'm not sure if I believe in a heaven exactly, but it's hard for me to imagine that a life's force just ceases to exist. I still feel my grandmother's presence around me and my family. I would like to think that when Sophie's time does come, she'll run across a field, ears flying, to greet my grandmother.

The Garden of the Dinosaurs

2005-08-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

Now that I ride my bike everywhere I go, I see some really interesting stuff. We live in a weird, weird world.

When I go to the gym to swim in the mornings, my route takes me by a quirky house. It's next to a field with mostly businesses around it. It might be an antique store but I think someone lives there as well. This house has quite a garden. But instead of a garden full of flowers, it has a garden full of dinosaurs. At least a dozen or so. And not toy dinosaurs. No, these are 7, 8, and 10 foot dinosaurs. Dinosaurs made out of metal including a T-Rex, a Triceratops, and many others that I don't know the name of. I think this person makes them. And I have to wonder if they sell them and if anyone has ever purchased one. It seems like their "garden" keeps growing so it's hard to tell.

I always smile when I go past this house. With all the dinosaurs in the yard, it looks like a toy house. It looks as if some giant kid left his toys lying in a field. Who owns this house? Why did they start making these dinosaurs? What will he/she do when they run out of room? Do people ever stop to ask?

One of these days when I ride by it at a decent hour, I'm going to stop and check them out. I'm curious to see what this person looks like. I think it's great that they are doing their "thing". The thing that people always tell you isn't sensible or won't make you money or just won't work. I've been hating my job lately and trying to think of a "thing" that I could do instead. Something to make me happy. Something that takes me out of an office. Something that I'll look back on with satisfaction. I'm pretty sure it's not making a dinosaur garden. But there's got to be something...

The Alchemist

2005-08-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

I read The Alchemist by Paul Coehlo this weekend. Loved it. Once again, it had a familiar theme for me. Something I've really come to believe. That we are all apart of this world and connected to it and each other. That "forces" work to help us achieve our goals, whether they be declared or unconcious. And that's why you have to be careful about you talk and think and act. You may unconciously point yourself in a direction you didn't want to go.

The story is about a boy who is looking for his "treasure". And while he is looking for a real treasure (or so he believes), it is the people he meets and the experiences he has along the way that teach him about himself and the world. Most of all, it is about fulfilling his Personal Legend. Which is different for everyone. The problem is that most people don't know what their Personal Legend is or they forget about it because it's not practical or it's crazy or they are scared to fail.

It made me think...I don't know what my Personal Legend is. I have dreams and goals, of course. Everyone does. But I also know that for a long time, I was merely existing and not "living". I was just trying to survive the days. Should I look back at the things I loved as a child to find my Personal Legend again?

What I loved as a child:
My books - Is it writing? Ever since my nieces were born, I've been thinking about writing a book for them.

My bike - Is it cycling/triathlons? I feel most free on the bike. And strongest while running.

My camera - Is it Photography? I feel most comfortable and most myself while looking thru a lens.

Music - I've always wanted to play the piano or the guitar. Never tried. Should I?

And History - I wanted to be Indiana Jones when I grew up. Travel the world and find out the secrets of ancient civilizations.

Something to think about...