Time Machines

I collect Time Machines. Okay, they're cameras. But they're like time machines. Cameras take photos and photos take you on a journey to the past in the blink of an eye! My sister was in town this weekend for a family party and we were looking at old photos and laughing. Mostly at our hair and clothes. But it brought back a lot of good memories. :)

Most of my older cameras are Kodak cameras. I really like the cameras from the art deco period. They have a beauty all their own. Don't get me wrong, I love my Nikon. But it doesn't have the intricate, folding parts that the older ones had. My oldest one is the top photo from around 1900 or so. You can see it's no bigger than the tinkerbell ornament. You know, they were sold for $1 when they first came out.

It really isn't about the "owning" of them. I like the idea of having a camera that has been places and taken photos of things I'll never know. What adventures have they been on? How many smiles did they generate? How many memories were saved because of them? I feel like they deserve a good retirement home after all their work.

They don't all work, but that's okay. I still like to fold and unfold them, look thru their viewfinders, click their buttons.



My Yashicamat 124G TLR (twin lens reflex) camera still works. It was made in the 60s & 70s. The top lid opens and you look down thru the viewfinder (which is reversed) to take the picture. Makes me look at things in a whole new way. It has a quirk in that it doesn't always advance the first frame until it's been exposed twice. But it still takes sharp, colorful photos. The bottom photo is a photo I took outside of Bryce Camera with it. You know, when my "new" 35mm didn't work because it was like 30 degrees outside and the battery went kaput, the Yashica performed like an old trooper.

Dream Big

I'm watching the Oscars right now. I love to watch the winners of all the categories, but especially the smaller ones - animated short, documentary, etc. It's a good reminder that dreams can come true. You have to dream big, you know. Actually, I think it's impossible to dream small. I think by it's very essence, a dream has to be big. And if dreaming big means you may fall down a time or two, then so be it. One of my favorite proverbs is "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

It's the fear of the fall that keeps us from trying new things. Maybe it's because you're afraid that one of those times, you won't be able to stand up again. But you do. You always do. It may take a while, it may not be easy, but it happens. In the back of my mind I know that. Which is why I stretch and try new things (ironman, bike commuting, photography techniques, not hiding how I feel).

None of it has been easy but I feel I'm better off for having tried. I did have to learn to stretch mysef and sometimes fly without a safety net. And I was/am very lucky that I have rock solid support from my family and my friends. I should also mention that when I really needed something, someone would show up with it. Seriously. Out of the blue. Like magic. I'm lucky that way. I don't know why. So I try. Besides, if I fail (which I have big time), I'm still further than I was when I started. And that can't be a bad thing.

So...I learned a new technique from a fellow photoblogger this week. It's called the Orton Effect. It's actually been around for a long time and you can do the effect with slide film but I'd never heard of it. It's easier to do digitally and I tried it on a few of my photos. It's supposed to infuse a dream like quality into the shot. Not unlike some of the photos I used to take with the soft focus filters but different somehow.

The books and the round rocks are from last weekend at the mall. The columns are from my AZ trip. And the jagged rocks are from The Getty a few years ago. The bottom photo is what the round rocks look like without the effect. I'm going a little overboard with it which is something I do with new things. I'll probably use it sparingly in the future. But for now it's fun to see how the photos turn out.

Beat of a Different Drummer

When I was growing up, I longed for musical talent. I was in the chorus in grade school but in the 5th grade, they very kindly told me that I wasn't quite what they were looking for. I was crushed.

You see, musical talent runs in my family. Various family members can play all sorts of instruments and sing beautifully. My cousin, Tim, is a tenor who can make you cry. I'm pretty sure my niece, Morgan, has the gift. What I did get is a love for music. Most kinds, really. Except maybe rap. And I can tolerate country music, if I must.

Even though I don't have the voice of an angel, I still sing. There are 3 times when I feel it's safe for me to sing: when I'm with my nieces and nephew, when I'm vacuuming, and when I'm on my bike. Often, I'll hear music coming from a car and start singing along with it. Sometimes, I'll sing favorite songs - Nina Simone, Sheryl Crow, The Cure's Love Cats. Yesterday, to my horror and for some unknown yet tortorous reason, I was humming the Chicken Dance as I rode to work. No, I wasn't drunk. It just popped into my head and I couldn't get it out!

There are a few pieces of music that I can feel. I don't just hear it with my ears. Like Gershwin's Summertime or Ravel's Bolero. If I'm having trouble sleeping, my go to music is Smetna's The Moldau. The two instruments I "feel" the most are the sax and the drum. It's the tension they create, I think. This past weekend, the TAIKOPROJECT was playing at the Lewis Family Playhouse (named for the family that I work for). You may have seen their work in a Mitsubishi commercial. Or you can check out this video. I didn't get a chance to see it but when I was at Victoria Gardens (an outdoor mall with a cultural center that holds the playhouse), there was a small festival with drum circles, origami tables, writing tables, food, and performances by these drummers. I had a great time listening to them and a great time trying to capture the performance with my camera. Not easy, let me tell you. Trying to anticpate what they would do, where they would be, capturing their expressions...fun, but challenging.

What was interesting was when I turned my camera to the crowd. They were held spellbound by the drums, even the youngest ones. I thought, how cool that would be to be able to share your music with someone and see their apprecition. I think that's what I'm trying to do with my photos. I'm just following a different drummer.

Weird Wired World

The Blog World is a weird world. Don't you think? People from all over read your blog (or blogs) and comment. Sometimes, you comment on their blogs. Sometimes you start emailing them and they become your friends. Sometimes, they disappear and you wonder what happened to them. Are they okay? Did they find something else to occupy their time? Was it just too hard to find time to blog?

I've thought of stopping before. I have way too many blogs - a triathlon blog, this blog, and my photoblog blog. I can't keep up with all of them and the triathlon one has suffered the most. This one is getting sporadic but I haven't given up on it yet. Mostly because I like to ramble and Photoblog is more a visual place than a wordy place. Although I am wordy there because well, I don't know how to be otherwise.

One of things I like about the blog world is that, often, comments make me think about what I'm doing and why. Today was an interesting day comment-wise. On Photoblog, someone said "you're a harsh self critic" because of my post of these duck photos. I had said that I wasn't happy with them because the depth of field on both of them wasn't enough. And that top duck photo should have been sharper around the eye (what I think should be the focal point). The funny thing is that photography is the one area in my life where I first allowed myself to not be perfect. It was photography that taught me it was okay to make mistakes. Still, when I look at these photos, I see a missed opportunity. I don't think that's harsh, I think it's being honest with myself. I can't get better if I'm in denial.

And then Bolder asked me "are you a great photographer? or, are you just blessed with great content, gear, and light???" I told him both. I admit I think I'm good. If not, I wouldn't be posting my photos anywhere. Even these, which I think are not perfect, had potential to be good. Does that make me conceited? I have moments where I think I'm kidding myself. You never know. Your friends and family could be humoring you or not want to hurt your feelings. All I can do is try and keep trying when I make mistakes. The next time I take photos of ducks, I'll remember what I was trying to do this time and make the proper adjustments.

If you look at the bottom photo, you'll see one of my book shelves. About a 1/3 of the books shown are books on photography. I have another shelf with just as many, if not more. And a stack next to my bed. I know all the techniques and "rules" of photography. But does that make me great? I don't really know what "great" means. I read an article this weekend where they were talking about the difference between amateurs and pros. According to the article, the difference is that amateurs will take one pretty shot, but the pros will tell a story with their photos. Maybe that one shot is technically correct, but does it have that certain something, that je nais se quoi? I don't know if I buy that definition or that I necessarily want to be called "pro". Definitely Photographer. Maybe Artist. Genius would be nice. :P But I do know that I like to tell stories and if my photos tell a story, all the better. I'm sure you would rather look at a great photo than read these ramblings! But thanks for reading and for commenting. You do make think.

P.S. Really if you look at these photos, I guess the bottom one tells the greater story because it gives you a glimpse into my life - the photo books, Calvin&Hobbes books, photos of my sister and nieces, some of my favorite novels, Pooh & Tigger. Memories, reading, laughter, learning, love. Do you know me better now? Yes, I'm still a 10 year old girl, trapped in a 38 year old body. :P

Saturday In The Park

Yss, I'm guilty. I borrowed my mom's car on Saturdy to go shopping for her birthday present and my grandfather's. We celebrated their birthdays today (which are tomorrow and Tuesday). Just, every once in a while, a car comes in handy when the carrying of presents is in order. I dropped my mom off at work at 7:30 and then it was mine til the afternoon. So, guess what I did? I took my camera to Red Hill Park, a park I sometimes run at, which has a little pond with some interesting characters. And some nice ducks and turtles too. I've been to this park with my camera before but to take portraits of people, not animals. And until I got my new lens, they would have been too small to be of any interest. Unless I want to go swimming and legend says the turtles are vicious!

I love ducks, don't you? They are so quacky. I always laugh when I'm running and I see them feeding with their butts up in the air like some synchronized swim team gone awry. The way they glide thru the water and then become clowns on land. The ruckus they make when they are upset. These ducks were pretty good about posing for me til they realized I wasn't going to pay them with food. Then they pretty much ignored me. But that was okay because I wouldn't want the photos to seem too posed. :P Still, the light was awesome yesterday morning and it seemed to spotlight the ducks and reveal every detail of their feathers. I couldn't have asked for better light. As, I've said before, it's all about the light. The turtles were a little more shy but I did manage to capture a couple of them basking in the sun. And who can blame them...it was a gorgeous day in So Cal. Warm, sunny, a little breezy. The kind of day that makes you glad to be outdoors.

There were plenty of people out too, walking & jogging & sitting. I was watching others who came to the pond to watch the ducks. Older couples, families, young lovers, solitary souls. Just sitting and watch them swim and fight and eat. I think they must have felt like I do. How by living in the suburbs we are moving thru the world but not a part of nature. Really, the only wildlife we see as we move from our house to our car to work, etc is birds and yapping chihuahuas. Maybe a squirrel or a lizard. Even riding my bike in the shadow of the mountains, I feel disconnected to nature. I know that's why I like to run at the park. It's a little bit of green and a little bit of wild.

P.S. At least click on this image of the duck's backside to see the detail of his feathers. Mother Nature is truly amazing in the details. Just why do their tails flip like that?

Truth In Advertising

I used to be anti-digital. I think my problem with digital photography was that it seemed to0 easy to manipulate, that it could lie. One of the reasons I like photography is that it shows truth. It shows what was there when you pressed the button. I remember being shocked about an article in one of the photo magazines. A wildlife photographer had added a chimpanzee to one of his photos in another magazine. He thought the original photo needed "something" and so he added the chimp. It didn't seem ethical. I would never do that. But guess what? I did. And I did it with a film camera. How shocking!

This photo I took for a photography class. The assigment was to take a roll of pictures, roll back the film, and then re-shoot the roll for a set of double exposures. We weren't supposed to keep track of what we shot the first time so the photos would be random. I cheated a little in that I shot mostly pattern or landscape shots the first round and then the second round had subjects - a flower, a duck, this peacock, etc. I hated that the professor could so easily dismiss my eye and I refused to give up all of it. It may have been random but it was going to have my stamp on it! By golly. :P Anyway, I was lucky that the peacock "fell" into this landscape and not the others. Wouldn't have worked in the other shots, I think. Still, the peacock wasn't there when I took the original photo. It was added to it. Not digitally either. Oooh, what a scandal.

If you look closely at the peacock, you'll see he's disappearing, fading like a dream as you wake. Or he's appearing, like a dream coming to life. Or maybe he's a ghost of a memory, there on the edges but not clear. Or could be you just see a peacock. It depends on how you look at it. That's really all that matters when it comes right down to it. That the viewer gets something out of your photo. Sometimes with photograhy, like life, you have to decide for yourself what's "truth". And truth isn't always what you see when you look thru the lens. I've slowly come to realize that.

It's Not Easy Being Cheesy

But I'll try...my version of a hallmark card to you.

like a rose garden
hearts flourish with love and care
blooming wild in spring.

Have you been watering your garden?

Happy Valentine's Day :)

Sweet Glass

Yesterday's post was a little over dramatic. Sigh. But I had to get it out and now that I have, I feel better. It really wasn't that bad. There is no blame, just a different path. Let's chalk it up to a cruel twist of fate - raging hormones right before Valentine's. It's just a day. I really need to get over it.

So, yesterday when I said I wanted to be spoiled, I didn't mean with gifts. No, I got that covered myself. Flowers would be nice, but more because of the sentiment and the fact that I would probably have fun taking photos of them. But no, I don't need presents from anyone. My family usually gives me money or gift cards for my birthday and Christmas because I never want anything. Well, I do. It's just that I end up buying it for myself. My mom is the only one who buys me stuff more because I think she's hoping I'll turn into a girl at some point. (She buys me purses and jewelry, none of which I use.)

I bought myself a gift this week and it arrived on Thursday. A new lens. A Nikkor 70-300mm VR 4.5/5.6 lens. I took it out for a spin today and loved it. It's sweet glass - smooth, quiet, & sharp. I'd been debating buying it for a month. I'd read about it before it came out and had my name put on a list to be notified when it was released for sale. I had the money. I don't buy anything with credit cards anymore. Debt issues. Anyway, it was actually money I was saving for IMAZ 08. I'd planned on going to Phoenix in April for IMAZ to volunteer and watch fellow Trifuelers and sign of for next year's. I was trying to figure out what I needed more. I don't like having a DNF for an Ironman race hanging over my head. And one of my goals is to complete one before I turn 40 next year.

But the lens I would be able to use now and have lots of fun with. Plus, it's a lens I really need in my arsenal. So I broke down this week and bought it. The first lens I've bought in more than 5 years. A treat. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about IMAZ yet. I'll have to see how much I owe Uncle Sam. I could give up the weekend at IMAZ and just sign up on-line. But boy would I love to use my new lens there. These photos I shot with my new lens today.


P.S. I deleted Friday's post this morning (Sunday) because it made me uncomfortable being out there. Posting it helped me feel better but I felt like I revealed too much. Thank you Laurie for your comment. :)

Christina

When I was going thru the boxes of "rejected slides" I'd kept, I found this slide (on the right) of my Aunt Christina. I have no idea how or when I got it. Or how it got into that slide box. I only know that I'm glad I didn't throw it away by accident.

My Aunt Christina was my father's younger sister. She was 8 years younger than him and when she was around 9, she contracted polio. She lost the use of her legs and some of the use of her arms. But she NEVER let that hold her back and she never used it as an excuse. She was a counselor at the University of La Verne. She was an artist and a writer. I have two of her paintings and a pencil drawing she did of me on a little piece of notepaper. I also have some of her notebooks with her writings in them. And she was the catalyst to get ramps put into the sidewalk in the town I grew up in. She was born on Christmas and when I was growing up, I thought everyone had birthday cake on Christmas. :)

But the thing that I remember most about her is her "Aunt-ness". If you'll notice, in both of these photos, there is a child sitting on her lap or at her feet. In the top photo, I think that's my cousin, Michael (I'll have to ask). In the bottom photo, that's my cousin Tim. I don't know who took the top photo but I took the bottom one when I was around 14 with my little Kodak 110 camera. It was about a year or so before she passed away.

Anyway, all of us kids flocked to her because she was "the fun" aunt. It wasn't just that she played with us, it was that she never treated us like kids. We were people to her and she spent her time with us "being" with us. We read stories, went to the library, on picnics, flew kites at the park, did crafts together (like origami hats). When our parents were too strict, we could cry on her shoulder but she never undermined them. She just listened to us. I don't think any of us ever thought anything about her being in a wheelchair, except that she used to give us rides when we were tired or just for fun. It was part of who she was but not something you were really aware of.

Now that I think about it, I can see that my "Aunt-ness" comes from her. That I want to be the Aunt that really plays with her nieces and nephews. That wants to teach them about life and how weird and wonderous it is. I get that from her and I can't believe I never put it together before.

When she passed away, our family seemed to lose some of it's heart. Christina (we never her called her Aunt or Tia, she was just Christina) was the peace keeper. She was the one who brought us all together. With her smile, her laugh, her love. For a long time, I could still remember her voice. Now if I try, I can almost hear it, just on the edges of my memory. But it's not really there. I miss hearing her sing to the Sound of Music and hearing her laugh. I wish the kids could have known her.

Bring On The Flowers

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and that got me thinking about Spring, my favorite time of year. And while I hate riding in the cold and the rain, I know that a good rainy season means that there will be flowers galore in the gardens in April & May... The regalness of roses. The sophistication of tulips. The sunshine of sunflowers and daisies. The wild abandon of a field of poppies. :) I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a flower thru my lens and marveled at nature's work. The intricasies, the uniqueness, the beauty. You look at them and you realize that there must be a higher source. Somthing or someone making sure there is something beautiful to brighten the world.

I used to use filters all the time: red, green, orange, polarizers, and soft focus. A lot of my older slides of flowers and gardens were shot with soft focus filters. Mostly because it made the results seem dreamy and glowy and, well, soft. Which is what a flower should be, right? These were both taken with soft filters. The first with a more intense effect, the second more subtle. You can do the same things now with Photoshop but I haven't felt the need to try it.

Anyway, with spring and flowers, comes choices. Do I go for that early morning run or ride? Or do I head for the gardens with my camera? Both have their joys. The last couple of years, tri won out. What will this season bring? Which one will win. Hopefully, either way, I will.