Photo Bug

Eric reminded me today that it's okay to sometimes be/feel crappy when you are doing something in order to one day be/feel great it. It's a lesson that I already know about photography and cross-stitch although it was a hard lesson to learn in both. I guess I have to apply that same knowledge to my training for triathlons. I'm not there yet though so I'm feeling crappy about my training this weekend.

I do, however, have some good news to report from this weekend. I did a photo shoot yesterday! It felt so good to have my camera in my hand again. It's hard to explain but it's like the camera is a part of my hand. It feels right. It belongs there. :) Anyway, Beth and Bret picked me up and we drove over to Cal State Fullerton. I shot 2 rolls of color and 1 of black & white and I think I got some really good shots. Bret was a little uncomfortable but there are some cute ones, I think. After that, we drove to Laguna Beach to meet Steph and Neil to take pictures of the two of them and then all four together. The sun was setting and it was a beautiful sunset. I snuck in one pic of it because I couldn't resist.

After that, we went to Ling & Luis (?) for some appetizer and drinks and then went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a good day. Tiring, but fun. I dropped off the film this morning and it should be ready by Wed or Thurs. We are supposed to meet at Lucille's for dinner (BBQ that I often smell while out riding my bike and it smells SOOOOO good) for Steph's B-Day so I'll hand over the stuff then and then get paid! Woo Hoo! Cross your fingers for me. :)

Mad Max

My nephew Max is so very cute. Okay, I admit…I’m biased. I love the way he just curls up in my arms and goes to sleep. And the little noises he makes when he’s stretching or waking up. My heart melted over and over again. I am always amazed at the miracle that is a baby.

If there were anything I could wish for right now, it would be a baby translator. Just what is Max thinking? Did he wonder who this new woman was? What are those things on her eyes? Does he wonder what Yogi & Peyton (the two weenie dogs) are? Did he like my singing? Does he recognize my voice? It must be so weird to be a baby and be taken by people you’ve barely met (your parents) to a place you’ve never been (the house) and hear all kinds of new things. Right now, I guess, all Max cares about is eating and sleeping. Growing up is hard work. :)

I wish I lived near him so I don't miss anything. It's so hard being the best Aunt in the world when you live in another state. He's too young to talk to on the phone and he can't read. I hope he doesn't forget me.

Max

My newphew Max was born yesterday, Sunday, Sept. 18th. He weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. He had a little trouble breathing in his first few moments, probably because it was a hard labor for my sister. But both of them are fine now. Which brings a sigh of relief to our family. Max is actually my sister's fourth child. Or he should have been. My sister had a miscarriage during her third pregnancy. And she, along with all of us, was nervous during this pregnancy. But everything was fine.

The other thing my sister was worried about was if Max's feet would be okay. Morgan, my oldest niece, was born with a club foot. She's had a few surgeries to try and straighten it out and she wore a brace when she was little. The doctor said she would most likely have to have more surgeries. But I guess, once you give birth to a child with this condition, then it ups the percentages for your other children, something like a 1 in 4 chance. But Max has perfect feet.

By the way...Morgan doesn't let her foot get in her way at all. She's a speed demon, running all over the place, faster than a speeding bullet. And none of us even think about it anymore until it's time for her to buy new shoes (one foot is smaller than the other). That kid rocks! :)

Morgan

Morgan is my older niece. She is 7 1/2 and in the second grade. What I love about Morgan is that she has total confidence right now. She can do anything and go anywhere and has no fear. She is very, very smart - almost too smart for her own good. And she's funny - our drama queen and fashionista. She loves to sing and dance and often puts on "shows" for us. It's pretty hilarious watching a 7 year old sing Red Neck Woman complete with cowboy boots.

A few typical Morganisms: at the age of 4 - "I'll never be a dog!". At the age of 5 "I guess I'll just use my tears for the watercolors!".

Morgan loves animals as much as I do, especially dogs and horses. She has a fish named BuddicaJoe that she says smiles at her to say hello. She wants to be a vet when she grows up so she can help animals who are sick. When I was there last week I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween and she said a horse. Then she said she wished she had a fairy godmother who she could ask to help Santa bring her a horse for Christmas. Or better yet, to turn her into a horse. I asked her if she wouldn't miss her family once she was a horse. She said she would so she would ask the fairy godmother to turn all of her family into horses. But she would be the leader. Gotta love a kid who knows what she wants.

Madison

I need to lighten up so I'm going to talk about my niece, Madison, for a bit. She is 5 years old and a riot. She's a little quieter than Morgan (her older sister - the drama queen who loves the spotlight) but she is one stubborn & determined little girl. In some ways, she is very laid back and easy going. But if she wants something, she doesn't let anything or anyone get in the way. You should see the determination in her jaw when she is riding her bike as fast as her little legs will go to catch up with the bigger kids. She is a speed demon on her bike (just like her aunt). :) But it's not about winning for her. When we race (Morgan, Madison, & me), Morgan is all about winning and being first. Madison just runs for the joy of it. She isn't even aware of where we are. She's off in her own little world. I love that about her.

Madison doesn't watch tv or movies. She would rather be playing with her dolls. She has an infinite number of dolls and they are all named Baby. I asked her once why she didn't try Laura or Kathy or something else and she said she liked Baby. I'll never forget the utter glee on her face and the images of her literally jumping for joy last Christmas over the new kitchen and washer/dryer filled with baby clothes that her Papa gave her. I thought she was going to burst she was so happy. :)

She is also one smart little cookie. She started Kindergarden this year and so far her favorite part is recess. But she is working really hard on her numbers and letters and she loves books. I think she takes after me. :)

Oh, the places you'll go...

I haven't been as many places as I would like. I have this urge to explore the world but so far, I haven't done it. Finding the time and money just hasn't been a priority, I guess. And when my sister moved to North Carolina, suddenly all of my vacations were there or here with her. Now she lives in Arizona so we see each other more often, but still my vacations are centered around visits there or here. Now that I have nieces (and a nephew on the way), it's hard to give up time visiting with them. I would like to take an adventure vacation, maybe in Colorado. Or take a cruise with Mondi and the gang. Or go on a working archeology dig/vacation. I'm currently saving for a trip but the destination is undecided. Where should I go?

So far these are the states I've visited...
California (most places between San Diego and San Francisco/Sacramento)
Arizona (most places)
Utah (Zion & Bryce Canyon)
Nevada (Las Vegas & Reno)
New Mexico (Albuquerque and Carlsbad Caverns)
North Carolina (Charlotte & Blue Ridge Mountains)
South Carolina (Charleston & Myrtle Beach)
Florida (Orlando)
Hawaii (Oahu & Kauai)
Louisiana (New Orleans)

And I've been to these states but only the airport so I guess they don't really count..
Texas
Georgia
Missouri

So that's a pretty short list that I really need to expand! These are the places I want to visit:
Colorado
Alaska
Oregon
Texas
Georgia
Canada
Spain
Peru
Egypt
Thailand
Italy
Greece
England
Anywhere in the Caribbean!
Any place really with ancient ruins!
Any place really where I can ride a bike!
Any place really...

On The Edge

They announced at work today that tickets are available for the Los Angeles County Fair. I haven't been to the fair in a couple of years. I don't remember why I didn't go last year, but the year before that I had a broken leg. I love the fair. I love to see the exhibits and eat all my favorite foods - candy apples, beef dips, peanuts, Indian fry bread. Maybe that's why I didn't go last year, I was still trying to be good about what I was eating and the Fair holds too many temptations.

Another reason I love the Fair is the Photography and Crafts exhibits/contest. I like to see what people are creating out there. Some of the quilts and clothes are amazing. But it's the photo exhibit that I love the most. A few years ago, I entered some of my photos into the Fair. To my amazement, one of my pictures received an Honorable Mention. It's called On The Edge and it's a picture I took in Bryce Canyon, Utah (see picture). I actually entered 5 pictures that year but this was the only one that got an award. You'd think I'd feel rejected that the others didn't make it, but I wasn't (a big step for me, the ultimate people pleaser). I know that art is subjective and not everyone will like the same thing. It was photography that taught me what I like and don't like about other forms of art.

I've been thinking about photography a lot lately. A lot. Everyday really. And I've been looking at the photos I have on my wall and my camera bag sitting in the corner. It looks lonely. I really miss it and I need to find the time to get back into it. I missed a lot of great photo opportunities this spring because I was training for my first tri. The best times to take pictures - early morning & late afternoon (for what I like to take) are when I was training. And in the beginning of my training, I was too tired to go traipsing around with a camera anyway. I have to find a way to balance the two. Photography is my artistic outlet. I don't get the same sense from my cross-stitch projects. Probably because I'm working from patterns that someone else created. But with Photography, it's all me. How I framed it in the lens. The type of film I used (I'm a purist & anti-digital). The filters I use or don't use. Even the camera I take the picture with makes it different.

The other day, there was a quote that I applied to tri but now I'm going to apply it to Photography. "It's a dream until you write it down, and then it's a goal."-Anonymous. Well, I'm writing it down. I am going to take my camera out and starting taking pictures again. Next year, I am going to enter some photos at the Fair. Hopefully, next year at this time I'll have more good news to report. If not, at least I tried. :)

The Weenie

My grandpa has a little weenie dog named Sophie (I call her Weenie). She's more of a family dog really. She started out as my mother's dog, but she was commandeered by my grandparents when my grandmother got sick. It was good for Sophie because it meant she wasn't alone all day. It was good for my grandparents because she is a total character and she made them smile. I think she helped my grandmother deal with her pain. And she kept my grandfather from getting lonely after my grandmother passed away. My sister, my nieces and I all love that little dog as if she were our own.

Last November, the vet told my grandfather that Sophie had an inoperable tumor and that she only had about 6 months to live. Someone must have forgotten to tell her though because Sophie is still with us, thank goodness. That little dog has so much heart and doesn't know when to quit. She still lives for treats and rides and dinner time. She's always up for a pat on the head or a tummy rub or just sitting next to you while you read a book. But she is getting slower and she's more likely to be napping than not. I don't know what my grandfather will do once she's gone.

I saw her yesterday and as usual, she came out to greet me and touch her nose to my hand. Then we went outside and she rolled around in the grass in the warm sunshine and chased birds out of the yard. It was total bliss for her and she looked like she was grinning. And we laughed to see her having so much fun.

I remember getting into an argument with someone once about whether or not dogs go to heaven. They said they didn't becuase they don't have a soul. I said how could they not when they give such unconditional love and joy to the people in their lives? I don't think in black & white about religion anymore. I was raised Catholic but I'm not practising anymore. I still go to mass sometimes, mostly for my grandfather and my mom, and while I do enjoy the cermony of it, it doesn't fit my beliefs anymore. I believe in a benevolent source. I believe that all things have a "soul" whether it's a person, a dog, or even a place. I'm not sure if I believe in a heaven exactly, but it's hard for me to imagine that a life's force just ceases to exist. I still feel my grandmother's presence around me and my family. I would like to think that when Sophie's time does come, she'll run across a field, ears flying, to greet my grandmother.

The Garden of the Dinosaurs

Now that I ride my bike everywhere I go, I see some really interesting stuff. We live in a weird, weird world.

When I go to the gym to swim in the mornings, my route takes me by a quirky house. It's next to a field with mostly businesses around it. It might be an antique store but I think someone lives there as well. This house has quite a garden. But instead of a garden full of flowers, it has a garden full of dinosaurs. At least a dozen or so. And not toy dinosaurs. No, these are 7, 8, and 10 foot dinosaurs. Dinosaurs made out of metal including a T-Rex, a Triceratops, and many others that I don't know the name of. I think this person makes them. And I have to wonder if they sell them and if anyone has ever purchased one. It seems like their "garden" keeps growing so it's hard to tell.

I always smile when I go past this house. With all the dinosaurs in the yard, it looks like a toy house. It looks as if some giant kid left his toys lying in a field. Who owns this house? Why did they start making these dinosaurs? What will he/she do when they run out of room? Do people ever stop to ask?

One of these days when I ride by it at a decent hour, I'm going to stop and check them out. I'm curious to see what this person looks like. I think it's great that they are doing their "thing". The thing that people always tell you isn't sensible or won't make you money or just won't work. I've been hating my job lately and trying to think of a "thing" that I could do instead. Something to make me happy. Something that takes me out of an office. Something that I'll look back on with satisfaction. I'm pretty sure it's not making a dinosaur garden. But there's got to be something...

The Alchemist

I read The Alchemist by Paul Coehlo this weekend. Loved it. Once again, it had a familiar theme for me. Something I've really come to believe. That we are all apart of this world and connected to it and each other. That "forces" work to help us achieve our goals, whether they be declared or unconcious. And that's why you have to be careful about you talk and think and act. You may unconciously point yourself in a direction you didn't want to go.

The story is about a boy who is looking for his "treasure". And while he is looking for a real treasure (or so he believes), it is the people he meets and the experiences he has along the way that teach him about himself and the world. Most of all, it is about fulfilling his Personal Legend. Which is different for everyone. The problem is that most people don't know what their Personal Legend is or they forget about it because it's not practical or it's crazy or they are scared to fail.

It made me think...I don't know what my Personal Legend is. I have dreams and goals, of course. Everyone does. But I also know that for a long time, I was merely existing and not "living". I was just trying to survive the days. Should I look back at the things I loved as a child to find my Personal Legend again?

What I loved as a child:
My books - Is it writing? Ever since my nieces were born, I've been thinking about writing a book for them.

My bike - Is it cycling/triathlons? I feel most free on the bike. And strongest while running.

My camera - Is it Photography? I feel most comfortable and most myself while looking thru a lens.

Music - I've always wanted to play the piano or the guitar. Never tried. Should I?

And History - I wanted to be Indiana Jones when I grew up. Travel the world and find out the secrets of ancient civilizations.

Something to think about...