Rebirth

I picked up some miniature roses at the store on Saturday so I could play with the B&W studio. As you can see, I used a filter to change this rose to a black rose. It felt more velvety that way, more romantic. Now, some people say that black roses are menacing because they signal death or vengeance. That's definitely not romantic. But other people say that black roses signify the death of old habits and rebirth to something new and fresh. THAT is romantic. I don't mean romantic in the way of man/woman. More like an ideal than reality. I'm not doing a very good job of explaining it, am I?

How about this...I'm hoping this year will be a rebirth for me in a lot of areas. I'm hoping to find the Lisa who was the heroine of her own novel. The Lisa who was optimistic and open to love. The Lisa who was joyful and healthy and fast. Ok, maybe not fast but pretty darn close to it. My triathlon blog hasn't been getting a whole lot of posts for a long time because, well, I haven't been training much since August. Last year felt like I was plagued by injuries (some my own doing, some not) and it was so frustrating. It took all the fun out of training and that spilled over into my life.

I was also promoted last year to a new position, because as they put it, they needed someone who could make things happen. That should have been a good thing. And mostly it was. But change takes quite a while in our company and sometimes I felt like I was running into a brick wall and I let myself get stressed about it. AND...to top it off, someone (that I had finally put behind me or so I thought) came back into my life and brought back a lot of the bitterness I'd felt towards him. And because of him, men in general. I became jaded last year. I lost some of the innocence that I had. No, not that kind.

But you know what? I do still believe in magic. I believe in a benevolent universe that helps you work towards your dreams. I believe that if you have a dream, people and opportunities will cross your path and help you reach it. I truly do. I haven't completely given up on my dreams. In fact, I would say that some of my dreams are burning brighter now. I think...I hope...I know that I'm ready for a rebirth. It may just take a little bit of work. :)

On a side note. I didn't take a whole lot of photos of the roses because Spike kept trying to eat them and smell them. So I threw him out on my balcony and then ended up shooting more of him than of the roses. He's such a rotter. But he's cute.